Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
Below Deck: Galápagos
Ahoy there! You may be expecting some contrived oceanic intro, but in all honesty we burned that out on a several other movies already, so let’s just get right into Master and Commander, shall we? Hold fast, and sail on!
Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched it?
Ellen: Once again: this is exclusively a Gilmore Girls joint for me.
Tyler: There truly is a screengrab of every second of Gilmore Girls on the internet, isn’t there? Anywho, the only thing I know/remember hearing in the zeitgeist about Master and Commander is that it’s apparently quite gory. Hopefully it’s better than the last couple seafaring movies we covered (and that I’m wrong about the gore: we’re watching with dinner!).
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): During the Napoleonic Wars, a brash British captain pushes his ship and crew to their limits in pursuit of a formidable French war vessel around South America.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia and formatted to fit your screen):
It’s 1805 in the Napoleonic Wars, and wouldn’t you know it: oceans are now battlefields. The HMS Surprise is captained by Jack Aubrey and manned by various and sundry lieutenants, sailors, carpenters, and his longtime friend, surgeon Stephen Maturin. Their orders are to hunt down the French privateer Acheron off the coast of Brazil. On a dark night, midshipman Hollom thinks he saw something on the horizon… Aubrey has the crew prepare when he spots a flash through the clouds and has everyone hit the deck. Despite their name, they’ve been ambushed! The crew begins firing their cannons, but their shots only seem to bounce off the French hull1. The Surprise sustains heavy damage and escapes into the fog.
Ellen: They take the time to show us that the cannons have names carved into their stands like “Jumping Billy” and “Sudden Death.” I don’t know if that’s an Easter egg from the novels or just good clean world-building, but I liked it very much.
Captain Aubrey ain’t no quitter, so instead of going to shore, he instructs the crew to make repairs on the go. Maturin quickly establishes himself as a talented surgeon by amputating young (and by young, I mean like 12) Blakeney’s broken arm and repairing a man’s skull with a coin. He also serves, thankfully, as audience stand-in, asking basic questions about seafaring that he should arguably know by now. Aubrey and Maturin’s friendship extends to making music together, and while they’re playing one night, they’re interrupted by two young sailors, Warley and Nagle. Warley happened to be in Boston when the French ship was being built, and Nagle made a wooden mockup. An extra ration of rum for them both!
The Surprise comes near the Brazilian coastline to barter for supplies, and they learn during the trading that the French are about three weeks away. Spirits are high at Captain Aubrey’s table that night, as the officers joke, Aubrey puns and tells tales of Lord Nelson, and everyone has their share of wine. Out on the deck, the rank and file are enjoying themselves as well, singing “Farewell and Adieu / Spanish Ladies”2. Everything is going well… until someone spots a frigate on the horizon! The Acheron has snuck up on them again, and even the brash Aubrey knows he has to run. The crew constructs a decoy “ship”3, has one of the young officers set out a lamp on it to distract the enemy ship, and Aubrey works all night to circle the French. It works until they chase the Acheron into a storm around Cape Horn, and they lose Warley overboard.
It’s a grim mood aboard the ship, but Aubrey has a new idea: since the Acheron is a privateer vessel, they should go where the hunting’s good: British merchant ships in the Galápagos. Maturin is thrilled at the chance to go collect samples, as Aubrey promised, but all that changes when they get word from marooned whalers where the phantom is headed. Maturin is disappointed and pissed, but young Mr. Blakeney gives him a Galápagos beetle to cheer him up. The doctor pouts and dissects local fish while the crew practice their cannon cadence and officers have another raucous dinner.
The good vibes don’t last, because the Surprise has been becalmed for days now. Superstition about a “Jonah” spreads like wildfire amongst the crew, and the already unpopular Hollom (from the first bullet, remember?) is the target. Nagle deliberately runs into him and doesn’t salute, and he’s summarily flogged for it, over Maturin’s objections. That night, all the crew give Hollom very mocking salutes below deck, and the young-ish man (in his 30s, to Aubrey’s surprise) has a panic attack. A speech from Aubrey about leadership, respect, and discipline doesn’t exactly help. Hollom heads to the deck, thanks Blakeney for actually being kind to him, grabs a cannonball, and jumps overboard, certainly traumatizing the child for life. Aubrey at least has the grace not to read the Jonah story from the Bible at the ensuing funeral. And unfortunately for sanity and reason: the wind picks up.
Ellen: When Maturin and Aubrey argue about the superstition, the captain is like “not everything is in your books.” Which, sure, I’m on board with that, but when your dogma puts you into witch hunting territory, you’ve lost the battle.
The Surprise is back on the chase, but a wholly other surprise comes in the form of Royal Marine Captain Howard accidentally shooting Maturin in the stomach! A piece of his shirt got caught in the wound, and it’s a real pickle when the guy you most want performing the surgery is the patient. And also you’re on a ship that’s constantly moving. Maturin comes back into consciousness on a stretcher… back on the Galápagos! Aubrey delayed pursuing the Acheron to give Maturin the best chance at survival, and it’s very sweet that they’re in love. With the aid of a mirror, Maturin does the surgery on himself!! While he recovers, the crew enjoys their time on land, playing cricket and lounging. Maturin himself takes Blakeney and another young officer to go sample-collecting. He crests a hill, hoping to capture a rare flightless bird… and sees the Acheron instead.
Ellen: They do a great job of making looking Maturin look like absolute garbage after he’s injured, but there’s one shot where you can tell exactly where they tapped out on the makeup lol.
Tyler: For a movie with a budget of $150 million you’d think they would’ve … done something about that? It was hilariously obvious to both of us while watching.
Tyler: I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that Maturin got shot because Captain Howard accidentally shot him while attempting to shoot a bird that was flying nearby. It’s hard to explain how dumb this is if you haven’t seen it, but ya boy Howard was, like, really off with his aim. Even if this was from the book, surely they could’ve changed it to something less stupid?
All hands on deck! Aubrey paid attention to something besides the ship for once, and the camouflage ability of a Galápagos stick bug inspires him to disguise their ship as a whaler called Siren, aka privateer bait. The Captain gives the crew a good pre-battle speech, reminding them that they have a very important advantage: the element of Surprise! The ruse works, and the ships get close enough that intense hand-to-hand combat ensues. Mr. Blakeney of all people takes command of the Surprise while Aubrey and all the other adults fight aboard the French ship. The battle is won, and in the French infirmary, the doctor presents the captain’s sword to Aubrey.
Tyler: The final battle is so chaotic I barely know what's going on, except that a literal child is given many many responsibilities. But he seems to perform well!
Aubrey gives a young lieutenant the chance to captain the captured Acheron, and he’s almost wistful as they sail off. Maturin confesses he’s a little worried about them, not having a doctor aboard at all, and casually mentions that he died months ago. Realizing that the surgeon was actually the captain in disguise, Aubrey orders the crew of Surprise to get after that ship… again! Maturin is once again denied the chance to explore the Galápagos, but Aubrey wryly notes that since the bird he seeks is flightless, "it's not going anywhere."
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick “advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … Captain Aubrey's Childcare Services!
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*Disclaimer: Captain Aubrey’s cannot guarantee your child’s safety over the course of our voyage. Side effects may include: scurvy, broken bones, amputation of limbs affected by said broken bones because it’s the 1800s, sea-based danger, exposure to (and possibly a victim of) violence, sunburn, friendships with weird older men, extreme boredom, seeing things no child should see, alcohol poisoning, an annoying accent as if they studied abroad in Barcelona, encounters with pirates, and the French. We have a strict no refunds policy.
Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
Master and Commander’s Wikipedia page has some interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
M&C:TFSOTW was adapted from three novels in the Aubrey-Maturin book series by English author Patrick O’Brian, of which there are 21 total novels.
The film was directed by Peter Weir, whom we first met in our post on Witness. His work on M&C:TFSOTW earned him his fourth Oscar nomination for Best Director, though he lost to Peter Jackson for The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.
Weir went to great lengths to ensure the film looked and felt authentic to life at sea in the 19th century. The crew filmed on a replica tall ship (named the HMS Rose at the time but later renamed to the HMS Surprise after the ship in the movie) and was the first non-documentary film to shoot on location in the Galápagos, where they filmed for six months. Other scenes were shot on a full-scale replica mounted on gimbals in a nearly-20-million-gallon tank in Mexico originally built for Titanic.
Ellen: How nice to see the 20 million gallon tank getting work again!
Weir also recruited many extras from Poland, as he thought the men looked like they were from the 19th century.
Tyler: What a backhanded compliment that must’ve been.
The non-extra cast was made up of largely British actors, which means it’s time for everyone’s favorite game: That Guy From That Thing! Today’s contestants are:
You might recognize Paul Bettany’s voice from his role as J.A.R.V.I.S. in several Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, or the rest of him in movies like A Knight’s Tale, Wimbledon, and The Da Vinci Code.
Chris Larkin (who played Captain Howard, the Royal Marine who accidentally shoots Maturin) isn’t really well-known enough to fully qualify for this, but fun fact: his parents are actors Sir Robert Stephens (who we saw as Germanicus in Cleopatra and The Prince of Verona in the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet) and Dame Maggie Smith (best known as Professor McGonagall in the Harry Potter movies).
Speaking of Harry Potter, true HP nerds will recognize Lee Ingleby from his role as Stan Shunpike in Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. And if for some reason you ever watched the British version of Bob the Builder, that was Ingleby’s voice you heard as Bob from 2015-2018.
You don’t have to be a real Lord of the Rings nerd to recognize Billy Boyd (the Coxswain Barrett Bonden), who rose to fame as Pippin in that film series.
Finally, in what will surely be Ellen’s favorite installment of That Guy From That Thing, you may have recognized William Warley as actor Joseph Morgan, best known in our house for his portrayal of Klaus on The Vampire Diaries and The Originals.
For the sound of the wind as the Surprise rounds Cape Horn, Oscar-winning sound designer Richard King created a wooden frame with 1000 feet of line and put it in the back of a pickup truck. By driving the truck 70 mph into a 40 mph wind, and modulating the wind with barbecue and refrigerator grills, King was able to simulate the range of wind noises as it passed through the ship's rigging.
The film’s composer, Richard Tognetti, taught Russell Crowe how to play violin. Crowe purchased the violin used in the film himself, an 1890 Italian piece that later sold for $104,000. Paul Bettany also learned how to play the cello so he and Crowe could be filmed playing with the right posture and technique. The actual music in the final version of the film, though, was dubbed in.
Ellen: Dubbing it in was probably the right call, but I’d pay to hear the original audio.
Honorable Mentions
What other movies should you be watching?
🎵 Dun-uh. Dun-uh. Dun-uh dun-uh dun-uh dun-uh dun-uh. 🎵
The fact that you probably know what movie we’re referencing speaks to the cultural impact of our next Honorable Mention (not to mention the musical mastery of John Williams and penchant for classic hits of Steven Spielberg): Jaws.
If you haven’t ever seen Jaws, wait until your beach vacation is over, then find someone with a Peacock account to celebrate the 50th anniversary of this suspenseful classic. If you’ve already seen Jaws, repeat the steps outlined in the previous sentence because it’s well worth a rewatch. Take our word for it, we did just that a couple weeks ago.
Oscar NomNomNomz
Since we all know a movie is nothing without the food and drink it incorporates.
It’s now time to award the Oscar for Best Snacktor in a Supporting Role4. And the nomnomnominees are:
An extra ration of rum for creating an accurate wooden replica of your nemesis
Fresh fruit from Brazilian natives
Many glasses of wine at the officers table
And the Oscar goes to … the extra ration of rum! Unfortunately, Ellen stole the rum to help fulfill her dream of opening a tiki bar, so we (Tyler and Basil) will accept this award on its behalf.
Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to give the Academy way too much responsibility too young and hope that they rise to the occasion. Here’s the thing: I liked it, I had fun, and it’s classic Best Picture bait: period piece with war, male friendship, and the only women in sight are “exotic” and don’t speak. I don’t have too much to clown on or praise that I haven’t already. Raise anchor from this post!
Tyler: I’d like to give the Academy an extra ration of rum for nominating an adventure-y movie for Best Picture, but still make them swab the poop deck the next morning. As Ellen said above, M&C is classic Best Picture bait and the baity aspects of the movie are done well, with the commitment to historical accuracy and world-building and the main friendship being the standouts. I particularly enjoyed the dynamic between Aubrey and Maturin, with one duty-bound and stubborn and the other more cynical about war and the world. It's a nice way to show direct disagreement with the most powerful person on the ship, and the friendly relationship feels real and lived in. And so I applaud The Academy for recognizing what is essentially a grown-up Pirates of the Caribbean.
That being said, it took me a while to get into this, as there didn't really seem to be much of an emotional core. Maturin is too obviously the fish-out-of-water audience stand-in, and the young one-armed Blakeney is too minor a character to carry that weight. Plus, as mentioned in Plots & Feelings, I feel like there could've been some writing adjustments to improve the overall story. Overall, it's a unique, big-swing historical adventure that, while flawed, has its moments and is a pretty solid movie. Onward ho to our next post!
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
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Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment.
Rustle up the family and grab your prize hog, because next week we’re covering the 1933 comedy State Fair! Starring Janet Gaynor (who we know from both A Star is Born and 7th Heaven) and Will Rogers, this family film will surely keep you in that summertime mood. State Fair is available to rent from all the typical fairground booths.
Until then, hold fast!
Sounds like my ex-wife!
If you’ve heard it, it’s very likely because of good ole Captain Quint in Jaws, who is unrelenting in his rendition.
It’s a raft.
Results tabulated and certified by the accountants at Ernst & Yum™.
This is the movie (excuse me....*film*) that Kevin watches with Reggie whenever I'm away. I hear he covers his eyes during the amputation scene.
Many of the Elissa crew consider this to be the most realistic tall ship film.