For this most Hallowed Eve’s newsletter, we watched the 1973 horror classic The Exorcist, the first horror film to be nominated for Best Picture. So grab a cross, say three Hail Marys, and read on, if you dare ...
Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched?
Ellen: Despite having a Halloween-adjacent birthday and an interest in the spooky and paranormal, horror movies were not my thing for a long time. It took college and my much cooler friend Tami to help me see the light, and since then I’ve been working my way through classic horror. There’s plenty of info about this movie swirling in the pop culture ether, including the spoiler I learned from the legendary Cordelia Chase: “Are you crazy? I saw [The Exorcist]! Even the priest died!”
Tyler: As someone who has almost always avoided horror movies and felt much safer reading the plots on Wikipedia instead, I’m generally in no rush to watch something that by definition intends to horrify me. I have, however, come across countless Exorcist parodies/spoofs (including my personal favorite from Scary Movie 2), so I was familiar enough with the broad strokes of what happens. Having also lived in the DC area for several years, I’ve seen “The Exorcist steps” whilst walking around Georgetown but never quite knew exactly how they figured into the plot. Speaking of the plot ...
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): When a 12-year-old girl is possessed by a mysterious entity, her mother seeks the help of two priests to save her.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia and formatted to fit your screen):
We open at an archaeological dig in northern Iraq, just to keep the audience off-balance from the jump, and meet veteran Catholic priest Lankester Merrin. He’s alerted to a cache of artifacts that include a sculpture that resembles Pazuzu, a demon of ancient origins with whose history Merrin is familiar1. He’s quite literally shaken by the discovery, and eventually encounters a statue towering over him in the image of Pazuzu, an omen warning him of a looming confrontation.
Tyler: The general lack of score (except when something creepy is happening) in the beginning here is really effective. Sometimes the simplest sound techniques, like stopping the ticking of the clock in Merrin’s colleague’s office, can be even more effective than some eerie string-laden background music.
Ellen: I joked about it, but I absolutely agree that they’re laying the tension groundwork very early. When he goes to reach his hand in for the artifacts, the audience is already like “bro, stop, you’re in a horror movie!”
Meanwhile, in Georgetown, actress Chris MacNeil is living on location in a gorgeous townhouse that includes both a kitchen with a built-in flat top grill and a terrifying attic that’s emitting some kind of scuttling noise2. Also in the house are confirmed Horse Girl Regan (Chris’ 12-year-old daughter) and who we’ll come to learn are three of the most loyal in-house staff you could ask for. Chris is starring in a film directed by her friend and associate Burke Dennings, and while filming a scene on campus, we see a remarkably thick-haired priest in the crowd. Chris walks home after filming, kicking up autumn leaves while the iconic Exorcist theme plays.
Ellen: We get a lot of instances in these first few scenes for what a caring mom Chris is, and it’s quite nice to see before everything becomes decidedly NOT nice. Examples include birthday planning and gossiping about boys in a scene that produces my favorite quote of the movie: “I like pizzas too, but I’m not going to marry one.” Speak for yourself, Chris!
In a series of very quick cuts that we’ll call scenes, we learn that our young priest friend is Damien Karras, who is also a psychiatrist. He and his luscious hair visit his ailing mother (whom his uncle eventually admits to a psychiatric ward) and confess to another priest that he believes he’s losing his faith and doesn’t feel cut out for this life. We also learn of a pretty elaborate desecration of a Virgin Mary statue at Karras’ church.
Ellen: Not a lot to joke about here: Damien’s life seems like a bummer!
Small oddities start to ramp up in the MacNeil home, from persistent scratching in the attic to Regan being unable to sleep because, um, let’s see, HER WHOLE BED IS SHAKING. We’re treated to Chris Ebeneezer Scrooge-ing her way up to the attic, dressing gown, candlestick, and all, to see that the mouse traps have borne no fruit, indicating rats are not the culprit. Regan casually mentions that she found a Ouija board in the basement and has been playing with it alone to talk with someone she calls Captain Howdy. She begins acting strangely, using obscene language, and exhibiting abnormal strength3. The last straw before the Adults of the House decide to seek professional help is when a benightgowned Regan comes downstairs during a party, tells an astronaut that he’ll “die up there,” urinates on the floor, and most egregiously, interrupts Cool Priest™ Father Dyer’s piano set.
Tyler: Chris encourages them to play with the Ouija board together, what poor parenting!
Ellen: Okay, I could go on for many pages about Ouija boards, but for now I’ll just say that this movie is what helped take them from as wholesome as a Norman Rockwell painting to the stuff of nightmares. I cannot recommend this episode of “99% Invisible” enough, which is fascinating even if you don’t like “spooky stuff.” I’ll end this section with the 6 rules of talking boards from the Talking Board Historical Society, if you’re trying to use one4: never use it alone, never play in a graveyard, never burn it, never leave the planchette on the board, never ask when you will die, and always say goodbye.
Chris consults a number of physicians, putting Regan through a battery of diagnostic tests, but the doctors find nothing physiologically wrong with her, even though she flops about like a rag doll and fully backhands a doctor. They tell Chris “the problem with your daughter is not her bed, it’s her brain,5” but completely fail to mention that Regan’s lips are becoming noticeably chapped, about 3/10. One night while Chris is out, Burke Dennings is babysitting Regan … until he is not, having presumably fallen out of the window and down a steep flight of stairs to his death!
Ellen: “Battery of diagnostic tests” is a mighty casual way for Wikipedia to describe tests that involve a SYRINGE IN THIS GIRL’S NECK. Honestly one of the most upsetting things in the movie, and this installment’s winner of Wikipedia Understatement of the Synopsis.
Tyler: That was a “pillow in front of face” moment for me. Also, given how much she says “Jesus Christ!”, “god damn”, and “for Christ’s sake” as she becomes increasingly frustrated, I can’t say I’m surprised that Chris later admits that she has no religious beliefs. Those specific curse words have to be an intentional inclusion by the writers, right?
Ellen: I have GOT to assume that is intentional, because she does not sample much from the other areas of the smorgasbord of swears (unlike possessed-Regan later on).
Tyler: I would need a professional film critic (or English teacher) to break this down further, but her name being one letter removed from “Christ” has to be intentional as well.
Burke’s death is investigated by Lieutenant William Kinderman, a man with the thickest-framed half-moon glasses that this author has ever seen. He interviews Chris and also Father Karras, the latter because he wonders if Burke’s death (in which his head was turned all the way around - ah-no-thank-you) might be related to the recent church desecration. Damien, whose mother has since passed away, avoids the detective’s pointed prodding, deploying the double matter-of-confession/doctor-patient-confidentiality defense, mostly because he seems annoyed.
Tyler: I wonder how many people in the world could plausibly employ that double defense?
Ellen: Messing with Kinderman is the most fun Damien has had in years, calling it now.
Tyler: And given the amount of head-to-toe-gray-track-suit running and boxing Father Karras does, the first half of this movie might as well be his audition for Rocky Balboa.
An entire hour into a movie called The Exorcist, the doctors, believing that Regan's aberrations are mostly psychological in origin, recommend an exorcism be performed. Chris is reluctant at first, not having any religious beliefs herself, but eventually relents. Perhaps it was coming home to Regan’s complete tornado of a room, blood and furniture everywhere, and the use of the c-word as a verb that caused Chris to change her mind, or maybe it’s the inherent danger of Chap Level 7. She arranges a meeting with Damien who, though reluctant to engage spiritually, agrees to at least speak with Regan. As the two come face to face, Damien and Regan test each other's wits, which is a fancy way of saying Regan vomits all over him.
Over the next couple of days, Damien witnesses Regan speaking backward in different languages she does not know, and Chris’ assistant (who somehow has not quit yet, bless her heart) discovers the phrase "HELP ME" carved from the inside of Regan’s stomach, convincing everyone she really is possessed by a demon. Damien implores the Church to let him perform an exorcism, but, feeling Karras is outmatched, the Church calls on Merrin to perform the exorcism while allowing Karras to assist.
Tyler: By the time Merrin is re-introduced, there is somehow only 30 minutes left in the movie, which certainly makes for a jam-packed final quarter of the movie.
Ellen: And again, the way this story is put together really shines, because the audience has known about Father Merrin and his experience in Iraq for so much of the movie at this point, just waiting for it to be relevant. You could say this movie is an exorcise in tension building ...
Tyler: Ha good one! This is unrelated and something I didn’t pick up on, but I found director William Friedkin’s use of quasi-subliminal images to be eerily fascinating (from this article):
At various points in the film, Friedkin flashes ghostly images on the screen, just for an instant. They're not subliminal; we see them, and we are meant to. Mostly, it is a scowling face – white skin, red eyes, yellow teeth – that presumably represents the presence of "Captain Howdy," Regan's conception of the spirit that has apparently leapt from her Ouija board into her body. This image, for example, looms over Regan during her first medical exam and later flashes beside her mother's head in the flickering lights of the kitchen. At one point, a huge close-up of Pazuzu – the demonic tiki idol found by Father Merrin in Iraq – is superimposed on Regan's bedroom door, and an image of Father Karras' dead mother appears in the fluttering curtains just before he dives out the window to his death.
Father Merrin arrives at the house, pausing in the lamplight to snag that movie poster shot before going unto the breach. The ritual begins as a battle of wills with Regan, at an unholy Chap Level 10, performing a series of horrific and vulgar acts6. Our priestly heroes attempt to exorcise the demon, but the spirit digs in, claiming to be the Devil himself. The spirit relentlessly toys with the priests and zeroes in on Damien, sensing his guilt from the passing of his mother. Damien eventually leaves the room to gather his strength, returning to find Merrin dead of a heart attack! After he fails to revive Merrin, he invites the demon to leave Regan and enter himself. In his final moment of lucidity and self-sacrifice, Damien throws himself out the window. Resident Cool Priest™ Father Dyer, who was friends with Damien, happens upon the scene and administers emotional last rites.
Tyler: What do we think happened to the demon after Damien’s death? He seemed to be still alive (albeit barely) while receiving his last rites, so maybe Pazuzu transferred into someone nearby. Is Father Dyer now possessed?!
Ellen: More like Father Crier, am I right? [she joked through tears of her own] If we’re going by Supernatural rules, Pazuzu is alive and well, so let’s not go by Supernatural rules!
A few days later, Regan, now back to her normal self with unchapped lips, prepares to leave for Los Angeles with her mother. Chris says Regan doesn’t remember anything (God willing), but as they leave, Regan is moved by the sight of Dyer's clerical collar to kiss him on the cheek. Dyer also receives a medallion that belonged to Damien as a parting gift. He stops by the steps to give the window formerly known as Regan’s one last look, then turns and walks away, presumably to have nightmares for the next 12 weeks.
Tyler: Regan’s definitely getting that horse now, right?
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick "advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … leaving Ouija boards alone!!
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Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
The Exorcist’s Wikipedia page is chock full of interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
Marlon Brando, Jack Nicholson, and Paul Newman were all attached to the role of Lankester Merrin (to varying degrees), while Audrey Hepburn, Shirley MacLaine, and Jane Fonda (who later called it a “piece of capitalist rip-off bullshit”) were considered for Chris. Ellen Burstyn eventually got the part of Chris, but only after some true drama-queen antics from studio head Ted Ashley, who hated the idea of casting her for some reason. Ashley told director William Friedkin that he would cast Burstyn over his dead body, then made Friedkin walk over him as he lay on the floor, grabbed his leg, and told him he’d come back from the dead to keep him from casting Burstyn. Zombie Ted declined comment for this bullet point.
Denise Nickerson, who played Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, was considered for the part of Regan, but her parents were too troubled by the material. Apparently they drew the line just past the Tunnel of Terror.
Max von Sydow was 44 when the film was shot and was made-up to look 74. Someone get that makeup artist a Tik Tok STAT.
Director William Friedkin apparently loved messing with his actors to produce genuine reactions for certain scenes. Both Linda Blair and Ellen Burstyn suffered back injuries after being yanked around on harnesses and their painful screams were included in the final cut. He also told Jason Miller that the pea soup “vomit” would hit him in the chest, which provided a genuine reaction shot when it hit him in the face instead. Finally, he had Regan’s bedroom set built inside a literal freezer so the actors’ breath would be genuine and visible on camera. It was chilled so much that a thin layer of snow fell onto the set one humid morning.
The movie’s rating was the source of much controversy. The MPAA’s ratings board, established several years prior after the Hays Code (which you can learn more about in our Wings ILTBTA post) expired, had been criticized in its early years for giving about a third of submitted films an X rating. Wanting his audience to be as wide as possible despite the amount of blood, gore, and miscellaneous nastiness in The Exorcist, Friedkin hoped for an R rating, which he miraculously received from the head of the ratings board. Some movie critics and towns proceeded to lose their godforsaken minds (see what I did there?), with a theatre in Mississippi even getting convicted for showing the movie (though it was later overturned by the state Supreme Court).
Some viewers suffered adverse physical reactions, fainting or vomiting to scenes in which Regan undergoes a realistic cerebral angiography and later violently masturbates with a crucifix. Heart attacks and miscarriages were reported; a psychiatric journal published a paper on "cinematic neurosis" triggered by the film.
The radiographer who talks to Regan during the cerebral angiography was convicted of murdering a journalist several years after the film.
Oscar NomNomNomz
Since we all know a movie is nothing without the food it incorporates.
For this installment of Oscar NomNomNomz, there is only one nomnomnominee for Best Snacktor in a Supporting Role7. We promise it’s not because we couldn’t think of any other options, it’s just that all that vomit made us lose our appetites. And the nomnomnominee is:
Holy Water
And the Oscar goes to … Holy Water! Holy Water had to take an emergency call from a certain angry Eagles fan and could not be here tonight, so Ellen will accept this award on its behalf.
Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to creep up behind the Academy and give them a good jump scare before we dissolve into congenial laughter. I was approximately equal parts disturbed and impressed by the movie, and even those not into horror can appreciate a well-made film. While how scary you find the premise at its face depends heavily on if you believe this kind of thing is possible, the movie does an excellent job of knocking down other options until you’re left with the only other possibility. The tension mounts from the very beginning, and as you watch each character reach their breaking point, both you and them dread opening Regan’s door.
Tyler: Now that I no longer have a pillow in front of my face, I would like to begrudgingly thank the Academy for nominating The Exorcist, if only so I can say that I’ve seen a horror “classic.” (Otherwise it gets a hearty “How dare you?!”) Although, to be honest, I thought it’d be much scarier, as opposed to eerie/creepy/spooky, so I enjoyed it much more than I expected to. I wonder if the relatively more modern movies that seem to emphasize jump scares in the dark have trained me to expect those types of frights.
Similar to Raiders of the Lost Ark, I can also appreciate the Academy nominating a movie that’s not your typical Oscar-baity dramatic period piece, let alone something from the horror genre that involves a demonically possessed little girl projectile vomiting on a priest and masturbating with a crucifix. Wait, is this actually a comedy?
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
If you have plots and feelings of your own (on the movie or ILTBTA in general), feel free to comment on the post or simply reply to the email. If you liked reading this: tell your friends! If you hated reading this: tell your friends how much you hated it by forwarding it to them!
If you’re a weirdo like Tyler and use Twitter, feel free to follow us there @BlankTheAcademy for ILTBTA updates, rejected jokes, and other random movie-related musings. Once we reach a million followers, we’ll offer to purchase the @ILTBTA handle from the butthead who snagged it before us.
If you’d like to start a wild Best Picture journey of your own, feel free to download a copy of The Spreadsheet. Bonus: checking off the boxes is oddly satisfying.
Get your COVID vaccine. Wear a mask. Don’t be an idiot.
Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment.
The next movie we check off in The Spreadsheet will be the 1952 western High Noon, starring Gary Cooper (whom you may recall from his brief appearance in Wings) and Grace Kelly (whom you may recall was an actress-turned-princess long before Meghan Markle left “Suits”). High Noon is available for free on Amazon Prime Video (if you have Prime) and in all the other usual places (Google Play, Apple TV, something called Vudu) for a few dollars.
Until then, we’ll cast out The Exorcist from our brains. In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, amen.
**P.S. Don’t forget to wish Ellen a happy birthday this Friday!**
Perhaps Pazuzu was the WMD we were looking for in Iraq all along.
Win some, lose some.
Sounds like my ex-wife!
Don’t.
See also: why Ellen can’t sleep
Again, an extremely understated way to phrase it, but I’m not trying to describe it myself.
Results tabulated and certified by the accountant interns at Ernst & Yum™ because there’s only one option.