Basil Takes Over ILTBTA
While the humans are away, the dog will play
Greetings two-legged friends of my parents! This is Basil, the official dog of ILTBTA. I know my silly humans told you they were taking a brief hiatus to finish moving into their my new house. Clearly they do not understand that they must continue to feed the insatiable Content Machine, so I have taken it upon myself as the ILTBTA Social Media Manager to chronicle The Move from my beautiful brown eyes. Woof woof!
Rumblings
If this “house” exists, why aren’t we there already?
Our story begins this past spring, when the humans started blabbering about a “house” with something called a “yard.” They even took this silly picture as proof!
While I was quite flattered they made such a giant financial investment just to buy me some grass of my own, I had not yet seen it. As the days turned into weeks, I became impatient. Suddenly, the walk down the hall, down three flights of stairs, and around the corner to go outside felt endless. Where was this house they spoke of?!
Cruel Summer
Act casual
I started to realize that (for once) my puppy dog eyes were getting me nowhere, so I played it cool during the summer. I heard the humans talk about something called a “rent-back agreement,” which was why I/we were not in the house quite yet. Who knew your real estate market would be so confusing and unforgiving!1 Thus, I was stuck spending the dog days of summer lounging on the couch and by the pool at the grandpawrents. Life is hard!
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge me further and enjoy this quick “advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … Portrait Mode!
Want a picture of your dog that looks much better than it has any right to be? Try Portrait Mode! Whether you’re taking photos on the floor or while you’re out and about, Portrait Mode has got you covered for that professional, “really focused in the front but blurry in the background” look that’s perfect for dogs (and people too, I guess). Those on the other end of Portrait Mode appreciate it too, with Basil Martin of Alexandria, VA saying “Woof woof pant pant bork bork,” which we’re taking as an endorsement!
Ask the tech-savvy young person in your life about Portrait Mode today!
Let’s All Go To The Movers
Episode II: Attack of the Crates
As you can see, I was enjoying my summer quite a bit. Then, one day (not long after Father started yelling at the TV every Sunday, which I do not appreciate) they arrived again: the crates. When my parents moved us from Houston, they used a rent-a-crate service for their mountains of stuff2 that I do not destroy because I am a very good girl. Since they think they are funny (why do you people indulge them?), they plopped me in a crate stack and took my picture. I was not amused.
And because they could not help themselves this year (this time with Stack), they did it again.
Thankfully I’m told we will not be moving again for a while, so perhaps they will have a different tiny creature to shove in a crate for their enjoyment next time. Maybe a cat?
She’s (Now Living In) A Brick House
This place is nicer than my apartment
After they finished piling their stuff into the crates (and suitcases and bags and boxes and …), I went to doggy daycare to clear my head and get away from the chaos. I asked my friends there if their humans had done anything similar, and I was told this was somewhat normal but becoming increasingly more difficult and frustrating due to something called “supply and demand” and “single-family zoning.” My classmates are so smart!
After getting picked up, we pulled up to … not our apartment. Could it be?? Is this the long-talked-about house? Good news: it was!
I spent the next few days exploring my new home and supervising the humans as they moved in and unpacked. While it’s been a tiring journey and I’m all tuckered out now, I’m happy to finally be home. Time to honk-shoo.
The humans are telling me I need to remind you that things will “return to normal” in two weeks when they cover the 1989 baseball classic Field of Dreams.
Until then, help to control the pet population: have your pets spayed or neutered.
xoxo,
Basil
Sounds like my ex-owners!
Ellen & Tyler: We recommend this (in lieu of hunting for boxes) for anyone moving!
This is adorable. Basil is a fabulous writer!
Really appreciated the doggerel.