Well, how do you do there, dumplin’? Welcome to I’d Like To Blank The Academy, where we watched another one of those fancy movin’ pictures, this one called Jezebel. So put on your white dress, pack your dueling pistols, and read on!
Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched it?
Ellen: I don’t really know anything about Bette Davis, but she’s certainly a Name of which I am aware! As for the movie itself, I’m bracing myself for a wave of 19th century misogyny, but who knows: maybe they mean Jezebel as a good thing.
Tyler: I’m in the same boat with Bette Davis. She’s like someone you went to high school with that’s a few grades older that you don’t know but you know of. As for the movie itself, I’ve heard of the term “Jezebel” before but haven’t a clue about what it means, so a la “Gaslight” I’m eager to learn more about it.
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): In 1850s Louisiana, a free-spirited Southern belle loses her fiancé due to her stubborn vanity and pride, and vows to win him back.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia and formatted to fit your screen):
Hop aboard the streetcar everyone: it’s 1850s New Orleans! The skirts are big, yellow fever’s ramping up, and it’s hot, hot, hot. Buck Cantrell drinks with fellow gentlemen at the St. Louis hotel, and he’s such an admirer of Miss Julie Marsden that he’ll duel anyone who speaks ill of her1. The lady in question is currently late to her own party after horse-riding, despite the fact that the last horse broke her collarbone and her engagement. Julie says both are mended, though her betrothed, banker Preston Dillard, is conspicuously absent. This seems to be a bit of a pattern for the man, as he’s also too busy to fulfill his promise to go to Julie’s last fitting before the Olympus Ball. She decides to eschew the traditional virginal white dress of an unmarried woman in favor of a daring red number in retaliation.
Ellen: So Julie likes to ride difficult horses and expects her fiancé to keep his commitments? That bitch!
Tyler: To me it’s not what she does, but how she does it. Being late to her own party irked me (as a chronically on-time person) and is a perfect encapsulation of her entitlement.
After some bickering between Buck and Pres over Julie, followed by more of the same by Pres and Julie over her dress, the couple departs. The Olympus Ball is indeed the social event of the year, an elegant and lovely affair until that harlot2 shows up, amirite? Even the strong-willed Julie withers under the stares of the entire party. Preston and Julie begin to dance, and the floor clears out all around them (but not in a romantic way). She begs him to leave, but he stubbornly continues dancing. Back at the house, the two break off their engagement. It’s quite dispassionate until Julie slaps Pres, of course. Her Aunt Belle urges her to go after him, but Julie is confident he’ll be back by morning. Spoiler alert: he isn’t.
Ellen: Preston making her continue to dance very much had a “finding cigarettes in a kid’s room and thus making them smoke the whole pack” vibe.
Tyler: Julie and Pres seem like a miserable couple, truly just two stubborn people trying to get back at each other instead of actually working through their problems. Though I suppose that might not make for an entertaining movie, huh?
A year passes where Julie shuts herself up in the house and refuses to see anyone, and Preston has been up North learning about investing in railroads. The buzz at the old St. Louis bar is that yellow fever (aka yellow jack) is rampaging, but hey at least Pres is back! Mr. Julie’s Uncle (not even Wikipedia had his name) urges the family to head to their Halcyon plantation while the fever blows over, and it’s turned into a welcome home party of sorts for Preston. The juleps are cold, the flowers are fluffed, and the carriages arrive! Julie is fully prepared to beg for Preston’s forgiveness and love, and she puts on the white dress she was supposed to wear to the Olympus Ball for the occasion. As she rises from a deep curtsy to him, he introduces… HIS WIFE! She’s a Northerner named Amy, and Julie privately bristles at “this washed-out Yankee”.
Dinner that night is awkward for the characters and for us the viewers, including such declarations as “we hate abolitionists as we hate the devil.”3 After the sumptuous-looking meal, the two ex-fiancés end up outside together. Julie expresses her doubts about him living up North and marrying someone from there, and they kiss!! Before we can dig deeper into that, however, there’s cannon fire from New Orleans! It’s apparently intended to change the air currents and carry the fever away, something of which only Amy questions the voracity. A rider arrives to say some bigwig from the bank is sick, and Preston goes with him back into town. Frustrated and tired of the saint act, Julie stokes a disagreement between Pres’ brother Ted and Buck. The “gentlemen” must “settle” this with a duel now, and Julie distracts herself from the pain she’s wrought by leading a sing-along with the Halycon’s slaves in a bit that sure feels like revisionist propaganda.
Ellen: There’s a lot to unpack in this bullet! There are some stark reminders of where and when this story takes place. Also, sure, Julie was a bit annoying in the beginning, but I wasn’t fully angry with her until she deliberately started a feud that she knew would likely end in a duel. Way harsh, Tai.
Tyler: As I wrote in my contemporaneous notes (a phrase I learned thanks to our esteemed previous president), Amy rules and Julie drools. Also, in a laundry list of “uncomfortable Southern moment in hindsight” in this movie, Julie’s sing-along with the slaves takes the cake.
The remainder of the film passes in chaos. The duel commences, and back at the house, Amy is rightly livid that they’re all just waiting around instead of stopping it. The winner comes through the door, and shock of shocks: it’s TED! The New Orleans quarantine is so strict that folks are shot for trying to leave. Dudes are knocking each other’s hats off and scuffling in the St. Louis hotel, and Preston overhears the distressing rumor that he killed Buck in a duel. He rises to defend himself before collapsing on the floor. Dr. Livingston takes Pres away to care for him, and someone sneaks back across the fever line to inform everyone at Halcyon. Julie slogs across the bayou in a gown to get back to town and start caring for Pres. The remainder of the group arrives a day later, having gotten a special pass from the governor (isn’t it nice to be white and well-connected?). They’re sending fever victims to the leper colony (?!) on Lazaret Island. Amy initially plans to go with him, but Julie convinces her that she should go instead, because the Southern belle knows how to deal with the conditions and people there, such as knowing the creole words for food and water. Amy allows it, and the movie closes on a stoic Julie riding away in the cart with the ill.
Tyler: Run, Amy, run!
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick “advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … Generic New Orleans Seamstress!
Are you a fashionable Southern belle in need of a gown for the Olympus Ball, Mardi Gras, or trudging through the local bayous? Do you love to serve sass to those who are beneath you (a.k.a. everyone)? Is it important to you to be the best-dressed person at the leper colony? Well, then the Generic New Orleans Seamstress is just who you need!
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Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
Jezebel’s Wikipedia page has some interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
The name Jezebel comes from the Hebrew Bible, with her name roughly translating to “Where is the prince?” According to the biblical narrative, Jezebel and her husband violently purged the prophets of Yahweh from Israel, for which she was eventually killed by defenestration, a word that I happily did not know the meaning of until now. Her name is later symbolically associated with false prophets.
The film Jezebel is based on a 1933 play of the same name by playwright Owen Davis. Davis wrote over 200 plays, some under pseudonyms like Ike Swift, Martin Hurley, Arthur J. Lamb, Walter Lawrence, John Oliver, and Robert Wayne.
Jezebel star Bette Davis is considered one of the greatest film stars of her time. In addition to her acting, Davis co-founded The Hollywood Canteen, a WWII-era club for American and Allied service members, who were offered everything there free of charge. An impressive list of celebrities donated their time and resources to make the canteen run. Davis is credited with insisting that the Canteen be fully integrated by race and sex, which was controversial at the time.
George Brent, who played Buck Cantrell, starred in eleven movies with Bette Davis over his career.
Henry Fonda, who played Preston, is the father of another famous Fonda: Jane!
Jezebel was allegedly offered as compensation for Bette Davis after she lost the role of Scarlett O’Hara (full name: Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler) in Gone With The Wind to Vivien Leigh. In another connection between the two movies, GWTW director David O. Selznick hired composer Max Steiner to score the film after hearing his work on Jezebel.
Oscar NomNomNomz
Since we all know a movie is nothing without the food and drink it incorporates.
It’s now time to award the Oscar for Best Snacktor in a Supporting Role4. And the nomnomnominees are:
Mint juleps
Toddies that are “only for the gentlemen”
Party pompano5
And the Oscar goes to … mint juleps! Unfortunately, Amy drank all the juleps after watching her husband driven off to this death with his ex-fiancée, so we will accept this award on its behalf.
Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to give the Academy a withering stare from across the Olympus Ball. As I said to Tyler when we finished, “I disagree with the central premise .” In the beginning, we’re supposed to dislike Julie. But I contend that it’s not because she’s entitled, because every. person. we. meet. is. entitled!6 So that ain’t it. We’re supposed to hate her because she’s not conforming to the arbitrary strictures of her society, and that is trash. To me, her supposed contrition phase is much worse, because her single-minded pursuit of Preston leads to the death of one of her oldest friends, and she barely seems to care! She’s just as selfish as before, only quieter. I half believe that she spent that year simply plotting how to act when Pres returned rather than working on herself. I found myself wishing it was in color so we could get the full shock value of her dress, though. This Jeze-belle (I’m sorry) just didn’t ring for me (please don’t unsubscribe)!
Tyler: I’d like to forgive The Academy for presumably mistaking Jezebel for the far superior Gone With The Wind that was released a year later. The more I think about it, Jezebel feels like a shorter, worse version of GWTW: the plot centers around a headstrong, antebellum Southern belle chasing after a man (or men) that just aren’t that into her; it largely takes place on a ridiculously-named but not-as-racist-as-it-could-be-named plantation (Halcyon? Tara? Really people?); and a large-scale societal event serves as a major plot device.
That being said, Jezebel lacks the epic scale and somewhat rational main character of GWTW that make me appreciate it. I know it’s an unfair comparison, but it’s nevertheless hard not to make it. Also, Julie low-key sucks for the first like 99% of the movie, so her selfless sacrifice at the end doesn’t feel justified or earned.
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
If you have plots and feelings of your own (on the movie or ILTBTA in general), feel free to comment on the post or simply reply to the email. If you liked reading this: tell your friends! If you hated reading this: tell your friends how much you hated it by forwarding it to them!
If you’re a weirdo like Tyler and use Twitter, feel free to follow us there @BlankTheAcademy for ILTBTA updates, rejected jokes, and other random movie-related musings. Once we reach a million followers, we’ll offer to purchase the @ILTBTA handle from the butthead who snagged it before us.
If you’d like to start a wild Best Picture journey of your own, feel free to download a copy of The Spreadsheet. Bonus: checking off the boxes is oddly satisfying.
Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment.
Brace yourselves ILTBTA readers (and Tyler) because we’re returning to a ~spooooky~ nominee with M. Night Shyamalan’s 1999 classic The Sixth Sense. You may already know the twist, but if you want to watch the movie itself it’s available for free on Prime Video (with an Amazon Prime subscription) or for a rental fee everywhere else.
Until then, beware the yellow jack!
The offending party tries to set the time of the duel for dawn, which Buck calls “confounded early.” A man after my own heart!
Sounds like my ex-wife!
🙈
Results tabulated and certified by the accountants at Ernst & Yum™.
Described by some as “the world’s most edible fish”
Except Amy, duh.