Phantom Thread (2017)
Only Girl in the ‘Shroom
Yes yes welcome back to ILTBTA. Before we jump into our fashion-forward film, we just need to take a few quick measurements.
35
27
19
Hold still.
42
24
30
Suck it in.
26
26
31
21
And … 28.
Okay we’ll have your dress ready for you in two months’ time, try not to change your dimensions in the meantime. Instead of eating or drinking, read our thoughts on Phantom Thread!
Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched it?
Ellen: As far as I know, two things are important in this movie: fashion and breakfast.
Tyler: DDL + fashion = the entire extent of which I know this movie.
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): Set in 1950s London, Reynolds Woodcock is a renowned dressmaker whose fastidious life is disrupted by a young, strong-willed woman, Alma, who becomes his muse and lover.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia and formatted to fit your screen):
It’s 1954, and Reynolds Woodcock goes through a meticulous personal care routine, descending the winding stairs of his sumptuous London downhome as a brigade of women ascend them. This is the work of the House of Woodcock, creating dresses for high society, including royalty. His clients adore him, and it’s the dream of many a young woman in London to wear a Woodcock original. That being said, he is obsessive, demanding, controlling, and rude in his bluntness, if you happen to disagree with or annoy him, both of which are incredibly easy to do1. Cyril, his sister, manages the day-to-day operations of the fashion house and tries to protect him from distractions, up to and including telling muses with whom he’s lost interest to hit the bricks (RIP Johanna).
After finishing a new gown for a revered client, Lady Henrietta Harding, Reynolds takes off to his country house to relax. He stops for breakfast at the Victoria Hotel and meets Alma Elson. He orders the following: Welsh rarebit with a poached egg on top, bacon, scones, butter, cream, jam (not strawberry), a pot of Lapsang, and some sausages. They spend a lot of time staring at each other during this interaction, and when Reynolds later invites Alma to dinner, she’s got a flirty little note with her deets already written down “for the hungry boy2.”
They have the typical first date: Reynolds talks about his mother a whole lot, revealing that he’s quite superstitious and haunted by her death, they go back to his cottage to get Alma into a muslin3 he’s working on, Cyril materializes and starts taking down Alma’s measurements - normal stuff! We learn that Reynolds designed and sewed his mother’s wedding dress, and their nanny wouldn’t help because she believed she’d be cursed to never marry. This stuck with Reynolds, and he now often sews little secret messages into the hems of his work. And so it comes to pass that Alma comes back to London with the siblings as muse, model, and lover to Reynolds.
Ellen: When hearing Alma’s measurements, I was initially like, “oh, what a nice surprise that her waist isn’t 24” or whatever,” only to hear Cyril say “he likes a little belly.” Welp.
Tyler: As if we (already) needed more evidence that Reynolds is not a, how you say, likeable protagonist.
Alma is at first entranced by living in London in the room next door to Reynolds, sneaking affection where she can and modeling and working the rest of the time. This author, too, would probably enjoy floating around in gorgeous gowns in a gorgeous house, but Reynolds proves to be very “fussy.” He’s got big feelings when Alma butters her toast too loudly at breakfast, and he’s prone to spurts of moodiness and withholding attention. That being said, Alma is still fiercely protective of Reynolds’ work and reputation. She even goes so far as to remove a gown from a rich but drunken patron whom Alma believes is disrespecting the dress. Reynolds is touched.
The girlies are all atitter, because Princess Monda of Belgium is in the house, y’all! The Princess requires a wedding dress from Reynolds, and Alma is less than thrilled, because she’s relegated to stand with the “help,” plus Monda is quite beautiful and takes up a lot of Reynolds’ time. Knowing how much Reynolds likes a good nosh, Alma enlists Cyril’s help in clearing the home for the evening while Reynolds is on a walk so she can cook him dinner. Cyril advises against this, because she knows her brother well, and despite her initial misgivings, she’s grown fond of Alma. The younger woman barrels forward anyway, and it’s a disaster. Reynolds feels ambushed, she didn’t make asparagus exactly the way he likes it, and they argue about her place in the house and who is or isn’t acting like a child.
Tyler: Alma’s behavior towards Reynolds is endearing at first, with a cheeky banter and quick comfort, but it quickly turns borderline possessive in a cringey
fashionmanner. While tough to watch at times, the actress does a fantastic job with it all and stands toe-to-toe with Daniel Day-Lewis, which is no small feat.
As any of us would after a big fight, Alma consults her handy dandy mushroom field manual and whips up some ~lightly~ poisoned tea for her lover. He nearly ruins Mona’s dress as he collapses, and his team has to work all night to fix it. Alma stays by his bedside, conveniently missing the times he’s hallucinating his own mother. When he’s back to proper health, he tells Alma that a house that does not change “is a dead house” and asks her to marry him. She hesitates for a length of time with which this author would not be comfortable and accepts! They honeymoon in Switzerland, but the bickering returns quickly, and Alma attends a New Year’s Ball alone, because Reynolds doesn’t want his routine interrupted. Eventually he shows up and they dance.
Ellen: This party is supposed to be pretty wild, exemplified by the worst rendition of “Auld Lang Syne” I’ve ever heard, played upon what sounded like an out-of-tune piano and rusty bagpipes.
Tyler: These two are “that couple” who openly bicker with each other enough to the point where people ask “Why are they even still together?” and it’s not not annoying to watch.
Reynolds is already thrown by having a new routine, but he’s even more off-kilter upon hearing that Lady Harding has been to a rival fashion house. He whines to Cyril about the death of taste and his hatred of the word “chic” and his feeling that he’s made a terrible mistake. Alma, of course, overhears, and back at the country house, she whips him up her specialty: poison mushroom fill-in-the-blank. In this case, it’s a really delicious-looking omelette, tbh. She waits for the first bite very intently, to a point that should be suspicious if they hadn’t spent large swaths of this movie staring at one another. He ostentatiously takes it, and she explains that she wants him weak and vulnerable, but then strong again under her care. He, surprisingly, loves this, and kisses her, and as she helps him recover, she imagines their future together, including children, a rich social life, and a bigger role for her in the dressmaking business
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick “advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … A Corner Table at your Favorite Restaurant!
Imagine, if you will: you’re as hungry as a Gilmore and twice as unreasonable, and this has netted you not only Regular Status at your favorite restaurant, but you’re always seated in your favorite corner booth. Anyone who wishes to speak to Your Greatness must approach the throne and watch their own nerves in the mirror, while you’re completely at peace, surrounded by your three favorite things: food, fashion, and food family!
Mention ILTBTA to the maître d' of your chosen dining establishment to receive a free trial of Corner Table but be warned: any mention of who may or may not have poisoned certain people in the past will cause the agreement to fall out of fashion faster than the bustle!
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Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
Phantom Thread’s Wikipedia page has some interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
Phantom Thread was written and directed by filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson, who became interested in the fashion industry after reading about designer Cristóbal Balenciaga. Another fun fact: he has been in a relationship with actress/comedian and SNL alum Maya Rudolph since 2001.
PTA is also the only filmmaker to win best director prizes from the three major international film festivals (Cannes, Berlin, and Venice).
In preparation for his role as a dressmaker, Daniel Day-Lewis (a notorious method actor) spent an entire year learning the craft from Marc Happel, the Director of Costumes for the New York City Ballet. By the time he was done, he was able to fully recreate an iconic Balenciaga dress.
DDL’s co-star, Vicky Krieps, was born in Luxembourg. The nationality of someone from Luxembourg is “Luxembourgish.”
Tyler: That word is just too fun to not include in here.
Ellen: It also sounds like such a first draft lol.
Time for everyone’s favorite game: Was This British Actor in Harry Potter or The Crown??? Today’s contestant is Lesley Manville, who plays Reynolds’ sister Cyril in Phantom Thread. In addition to roles like Susan Ryeland in TV adaptations of the very good murder mystery books Magpie Murders and Moonflower Murders, Manville also played … Princess Margaret in Seasons 5 and 6 of The Crown. Thanks for playing Was This British Actor in Harry Potter or The Crown, Lesley!
Phantom Thread’s soundtrack is by Jonny Greenwood, the lead guitarist and keyboardist of the band Radiohead, for which he was nominated for Best Score. Greenwood also scored the other PTA-DDL collaboration and future ILTBTA post subject There Will Be Blood.
Oscar NomNomNomz
Since we all know a movie is nothing without the food and drink it incorporates.
It’s now time to award the Oscar for Best Snacktor in a Supporting Role4. And the nomnomnominees are:
Welsh rarebit with a poached egg on top, bacon, scones, butter, cream, jam (not strawberry), a pot of Lapsang, and some sausages
A peaceful breakfast of tea and toast interrupted by your loud and uncouth muse
Asparagus cooked in butter and not oil, which is criminal, obviously
A cup of tea with just a dash of ground poison mushrooms
And the Oscar goes to … the cup of tea with poison mushrooms! Unfortunately, Alma gave it to Reynolds again so she could mother him some more, so we will accept this award on its behalf.
Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to make The Academy some nice asparagus that isn’t the way they prefer it, but at least it’s not poisoned! I just can’t muster all that many feelings for this. As Tyler says below, much of it is technically perfect, and with the emphasis on both fashion and food, not to mention a poisoning plot, you’d think I’d be all about it! But overall, it just kind of washed over me.
Tyler: I’d like to construct a fancy dress for The Academy that’s stunning to look at but makes it hard for them to go to the bathroom in. Much like the aforementioned There Will Be Blood, this PTA-DDL collaboration is wonderfully acted, beautifully shot, and fantastically scored … yet it still didn’t really leave much of an impression on me. Maybe I just don’t mess with Paul Thomas Anderson like many “film” people do? Like the three lead actors were great, there were several shots that literally made me say “wow,” and the near-constant score of piano and strings is so atmospheric and is a great tone-setter. Normally that’s a recipe for me loving a movie, but for whatever reason I did not think about this movie once until we started working on this post. It didn’t linger with me at all. I guess for me, to put it in terms Reynolds might understand, Phantom Thread is like watching an angular model walk down a runway in a crazy outfit: technically beautiful, but also somehow both unique and not memorable.
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
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Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment.
Break out your sexy nun Halloween costume because in honor of our new American pope, our next post will be the 1959 drama The Nun’s Story. Starring Audrey Hepburn as the titular nun, The Nun’s Story follows an upper-class young woman who enters a convent whose neutrality is questioned after her father is killed by Nazis. The film is available to watch for free (with ads) from Tubi and can be rented from Google Play, Amazon Prime Video, or Apple TV.
Until then, dress for success!
Easiest “Sounds like my ex-wife!” ever?
Fact check: this man is nearly 60.
While muslin is a fabric on its own, its use to make affordable mockups before the final garment has led to the term referring to the test piece itself.
Results tabulated and certified by the accountants at Ernst & Yum™.