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This week we watched Stephen Spielberg’s 1981 action-adventure classic Raiders of the Lost Ark, which celebrated its 40th anniversary this past June and is available to rent basically anywhere movies are streamed. Grab your fedora, sidestep those pesky Nazis, and read on!
Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched?
Ellen: Growing up, it was usually my Mom who would sit me down and make me watch a movie she thought I’d like. This time it was my Dad. That was kind of unsurprising — it’s Indiana Jones, which is canonically a Dad Classic™ — but still out of left field for him, being like Tyler in not wanting to rewatch movies. I almost certainly did not follow the plot properly the first time I saw it, and was probably even too young to realize Indy was hot1. APPARENTLY I WASN’T TOO YOUNG FOR FACE MELTING. I actually don’t think it gave me nightmares, which is shocking.
And sure, of course, Nazis are the villains. But Indy, you’re pretty sketch too: just bopping into other countries and stealing their shit.
Tyler: Yeah I don’t think I made this connection until I was much older, but Indy is literally one of the titular raiders of the lost ark. Ya boy is a straight-up tomb raider.
This is one of those movies that I’ve seen so many times that I honestly can’t remember when or why I first watched it, though it was almost definitely during a marathon on like TNT or TBS2. And as you mentioned, that’s a pretty big deal for me because I generally am not one to rewatch movies. Like you, I’m pretty sure my dad was the one who got me into it, or at the very least would sit and watch it with me whenever I rewatched it. Nothing manlier than punching some Nazis I suppose?
The thing I appreciated as a kid (and even more so now as an adult watching it) is that the plot was straightforward without being simple. As a kid, I could understand the basic beats of “Indy’s the good guy, he worked hard to find something, the Nazis stole it, and he deserves to get it back.” And as an adult, I can understand the historical and religious context of some of the plot details that just make it all the more interesting.
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): In 1936, archaeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones is hired by the U.S. government to find the Ark of the Covenant before Adolf Hitler's Nazis3 can obtain its awesome powers.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia and formatted to fit your screen):
We open in 1936, where American archaeologist Indiana Jones overcomes an ancient booby-trapped temple in Peru to retrieve a golden idol4. He is betrayed by his guides and cornered by rival archaeologist René Belloq and an indigenous tribe. Belloq steals the idol, and Indy escapes in a waiting seaplane.
Ellen: The Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular! in Disney World has burned incorrect blocking for this scene into my brain, so I’m still slightly surprised every time I see it!
Tyler: In addition to giving us classic booby traps, the sandbag switcheroo, and of course the legendarily massive boulder of doom, this opening sequence also gives us the trope of Indy grabbing his hat at the last second. I have recreated this scene so many times I’ve lost count, often with very slow-moving gates or doors for maximum dramatic effect, which I know you just love.
Back in America, Jones teaches an archaeology class mostly populated by female students who think he’s dreamy. We’re also introduced to Marcus Brody, a museum curator and close friend/collaborator of Indy’s. They’re approached by two Army Intelligence agents, who let them know that Nazis are looking for the lost city of Tanis and the Ark of the Covenant.
Tyler: Can we talk about that one student who wrote “LOVE YOU” on her eyelids?
Ellen: No.
Tyler: Despite admittedly being metal AF, that always creeped me out as a kid (and still does a little now). Also, what are the logistics of doing that? Writing backwards with one eye open in front of a mirror? Having a fellow member of the Professor Jones Admiration Club do it for you? Some questions don’t need answers, but it won’t stop me from asking them.
Ellen: Moving on, bless all the characters throughout film history who exist solely to have things explained to them for the audience’s benefit. We salute you.
Indiana is Jonesing for adventure and jets off to Nepal via a map and red lines to recover the "headpiece to the staff of Ra", a medallion used to locate the Ark, from his old mentor Abner Ravenwood, with whom Indy became estranged ten years ago. He rolls into a mountain bar, where Ravenwood’s daughter and Indiana’s ex-flame Marion has just won a gnarly drinking contest. We learn that Abner is dead, and Marion has the headpiece in an undisclosed location, AKA under her shirt. Nazis show up. A fight, a fire, and a firefight break out5. One Nazi, Toht, almost gets the headpiece, but it just burns the shit out of his hand6. Marion and Indy escape.
Ellen: What the Wikipedia synopsis failed to mention is that Marion is ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED for this whole scene.
Tyler: I like to think that right after her bar burnt down she just threw up all over Indy. Or, since the script allegedly states her age as 257, maybe she still has her ability to hold her liquor that you definitely don’t lose with age what who said that no not me I’m still young …
They take their map and indirect red lines to Cairo and meet up with Jones' friend Sallah. He tells them that our evil archaeologist friend Belloq is assisting the Nazis, and they have fashioned a replica headpiece (from the burns on Toht's hand).
Tyler: Gotta respect that German engineering. Anyway, as if recovering the freakin’ Ark of the Covenant wasn’t a grand enough endeavor, I feel like this globe-trotting aspect of Raiders helps add to the scale of the movie and raise the stakes even more (and just makes it more fun). By comparison, containing the plot to a single location (like the unfortunate first sequel mostly did) feels like the stakes are lowered and makes the adventure feel less epic.
Nazi soldiers and mercenaries attack Jones and Marion in the marketplace. After a Scooby Doo-style chase scene involving many woven baskets, Marion is seemingly blown up in the back of a truck.
Tyler: This is of course another scene in the wonderful “it’s raining/I just need to sit for a bit” Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular! Show at Disney World.
Despondent, Jones confronts Belloq at a bar where there are SO MANY GUNS. He’s rescued by a gaggle of Sallah’s kids. Later, an imam deciphers the headpiece, and they learn that there’s a different inscription on each side, meaning the Nazis have the wrong height of the staff of Ra and are therefore digging in the wrong place.
Ellen: R.I.P. to the duplicitous monkey chowing down on poisoned dates.
Tyler: Is this the origin of my fear and general distrust of monkeys? Perhaps.
Jones and Sallah infiltrate the Nazi dig site and use the headpiece to locate the Ark's resting place, the snake-infested Well of Souls.
Tyler: Is this the origin of my fear and general distrust of snakes? Absolutely.
Meanwhile, it’s revealed that Marion is alive and has been captured by Belloq. She tries to drink her way out of the situation, per her skill set, and manages to sneakily grab a knife! It all almost works except for gosh darn Nazis.
Ellen: Having seen both this and Elizabeth Swan’s similar attempt in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, you’d think if villains weren’t going to just stop kidnapping women all together, they’d at least not put knives at their place settings.
Tyler: The day they stop doing that is the day they’ll stop explaining their evil plans in detail to the protagonist.
Meanwhile meanwhile, Indy and Sallah recover the Ark — a golden, intricately decorated chest — but once again: gosh darn Nazis. They seize the Ark, throw Marion and Indy into the Well, and seal it. They escape every snake in Egypt only to find themselves with every skeleton in Cairo, until Indiana collapses a wall with a large statue and they escape. At a nearby airstrip, Jones and Marion destroy the flying wing intended to transport the Ark to Berlin. The Nazis load the Ark onto a truck and flee, but Jones catches up on horseback, hijacks the truck, and escapes. He arranges to transport the Ark to London aboard a tramp steamer8.
Tyler: Lest we neglect to mention, at the airstrip Indy fights a giant buff Nazi, who ends up getting ABSOLUTELY WRECKED BY THE AIRPLANE PROPELLER BLADE HOLY HELL. This is a yet another hallmark of the Indiana Jones franchise: Indy outsmarting opponents who are stronger than him. It plays into his “everyman” mystique where you don’t always have to be the biggest or strongest to win in a fight, which certainly struck a chord with me growing up as someone who was never the biggest or strongest person in the room.
Ellen: Karen Allen also has some absolutely A+ screaming throughout.
After a tramp steamer of an evening, a U-boat shows up and steals Marion and the Ark — again. Jones covertly boards the U-boat. The vessel travels to an island, where Belloq intends to test the power of the Ark before presenting it to Hitler. Indiana ambushes the Nazi group with a rocket launcher but is forced to surrender after Belloq deduces that he would never destroy something of historical significance and also wants to know if the Ark's power is real.
Tyler: At this point I realized that this whole movie is just Indy finding/stealing things and the Nazis taking them from him. CTRL-C, CTRL-V. Also, “Jones covertly boards a U-boat” is in the running for Wikipedia Understatement of the Synopsis.
Ellen: Shout out to the tramp steamer captain, possibly the first/only Black person in the movie.
The Nazis take Jones and Marion to the test site and tie them to a post, weirdly. They open the Ark with much hooplah, but find only sand inside. Indy and Marion shield their eyes as spirits emerge from the Ark, followed by flames and bolts of energy which brutally kill our main villains and the assembled Nazis before the Ark seals itself shut. Jones and Marion open their eyes to find the area cleared of bodies and their bindings removed.
Ellen: The carnage.
Tyler: The very convenient carnage. And by carnage we mean “melting faces and Nazis being struck down by God” not your regular everyday carnage. Also, are we to believe that Belloq brought Indy and Marion along out of respect for him as an archaeologist? Or maybe just to rub it in? Solely plot purposes?
Back in Washington, D.C., Jones and Marcus Brody receive a large payment from the government for securing the Ark. The agents tell them that the Ark has been moved to an undisclosed location for study by "top men." Elsewhere, the Ark is crated up and put into storage among countless other crates in a large warehouse.
Tyler: Is the “undisclosed location” under Marion’s shirt again?
Ellen: WELL I bet that warehouse will never come up again! Best just Men-in-Black it right out of your memory.
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick "advertisement."
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Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
The Raiders Wikipedia page is chock full of interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
The original name of the main character was “Indiana Smith,'' based on George Lucas’ Alaskan Malmute dog Indiana, who would sit with him during writing sessions. Five years later, during a writing session between Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kasdan, Spielberg said he didn’t like the name, and they eventually changed it to the now iconic name we all know and love.
For the last part of the scene where Indy flees by plane, the first take ended in near-disaster when the plane crashed from a height of 20 feet because Ford's dangling leg was blocking the aircraft's right flap. Thankfully, Ford and the pilot were both unharmed. Foreshadowing of Harrison Ford’s future with plane crashes? Who’s to say? According to the not-insignificant “Incidents” sub-section on his Wikipedia page, Ford has crashed once, experienced engine failure another time, landed on the taxiway instead of the runway another time, and crossed a runway when another plane was landing. Chewy would be so disappointed.
Raiders played in some theaters for over a year because of its popularity. It remains the "leggiest"9 (referring to the difference between the highest-weekend gross earned and the time taken to achieve the overall total gross) film ever released.
Oscar NomNomNomz
Since we all know a movie is nothing without the food it incorporates.
It’s now time to award the Oscar for Best Snacktor in a Supporting Role10. And the nomnomnominees are:
A Granny Smith apple, like the one given to Professor Indy in the beginning of the movie (shockingly NOT by one the female students undressing him with their eyes)
In honor of the pivotal role they play in the movie, a hearty bowl of dates (poison not included)
And finally, since they don’t eat a lot in this movie and I couldn’t think of a good third nomnomnominee: Kushari, Egypt’s national dish. It’s made of rice, pasta, and lentils mixed with spiced tomato and cumin sauce, then layered with tender chickpeas and crispy onions. (Shout out to this site for the idea.)
And the Oscar goes to … Dates! Dates couldn’t be here tonight, so we will accept this award on its behalf.
Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to thank the Academy! This movie is so much fun. I’d also like to remind the Academy that they are allowed to pick fun movies if they’re good. It’s okay. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind, right??
Tyler: Right! I’d also like to genuinely thank the Academy for nominating this movie. It feels like action movies, regardless of their actual quality, often get shafted by the Academy (I imagine partially due to a bias against high-grossing movies). That being said, I appreciate the fact that they recognized the quality of Raiders. In my opinion, it is the best action movie of all time.
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
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Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment
Next time around we’ll be watching the 1927 WWI-epic and first ever Best Picture winner Wings. While it is hella old and a silent film, we promise you will not die without color and dialogue. Wings is available to rent on YouTube or Amazon Prime Video, so pick your favorite corporate behemoth to give $2.99. Until then, keep an eye out for snakes and monkeys with dates.
Ellen: After careful consideration, I’ve revised my opinion.
Tyler: My mom has recently informed me that I first “saw” this movie when I was like 5 at a drive-in at her work, though I was too afraid to watch most of it. I have no recollection of this, but it certainly sounds like me.
As opposed to the present-day Nazis …………………..
A straightforward and dispassionate way to describe one of the great action sequences in cinematic history.
Ellen: Pausing to bask in my own wordplay. Proceed!
Is it gettin’ Toht in here or is it just me?
*types furiously into calculator* Yes that would make her only 15 when she had an affair with a 27-year-old Indy. Further proof that there weren’t any women in the writer’s room because that is … yikes.
Tramp steamer? Sounds like my ex-wife!
Tyler: Next time Ellen calls me Mayor of Gangletown I should request a title change to Mayor of Winnileg.
Results tabulated and certified by the accountants at Ernst & Yum™.