Welcome back to another installment of I’d Like To Blank The Academy! We jumped back in the ILTBTA time machine and watched 1935 Best Picture nominee Top Hat, starring the dynamic dancing duo of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. So tie up your white tie, brush off your tails, and read on!
Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched?
Ellen: I know nothing about this movie specifically, but of course the dancing duo of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire is legendary. Why? I don’t really know, but their names are sure paired together a lot! And how she does everything he does but backwards and in heels.
Tyler: I know zip zilch nada about Top Hat, and based solely on the title this movie could be about anything. After some brief research for my Pick Three, Choose One selection1 I learned that Top Hat is considered one of the better movies featuring Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, a famous movie dancing pair I’ve heard plenty of but have never actually seen. So after being surprisingly engrossed by the dancing in An American in Paris (another Best Picture nom, available to stream on HBO Max for those who care) while watching that last year, I figured it was time to earn my movie bona fides and dive in.
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): An American dancer comes to Britain and falls for a model whom he initially annoyed, but she mistakes him for his goofy producer.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia2 and formatted to fit your screen):
It’s 1935, so Radio Pictures (lol) presents us with Fred and Ginger’s dancing feet before the credits have even begun to roll. Hope you had your fun, because we now proceed to London’s Thackeray Club, where silence must be observed in all rooms. While an American man named Jerry Travers awaits his companion, he receives dirty looks from various fuddy duddies for doing things like clearing his throat and rustling his newspaper3. Producer Horace Hardwick finally arrives, and the two depart together to discuss Jerry’s upcoming London debut.
In Jerry’s hotel room, we meet Bates, Horace’s uppity and inexplicably-royal-we-using butler4. Jerry and Horace chat about the latter’s wife Madge, who is currently in Italy and insists that she knows just the girl for Jerry ("Wives …they've always got a little scheme"5). The tap dancer feels so strongly that he’d prefer to be “fancy-free, and free for anything fancy” that he sings and dances about it all over the room. So vehemently does he dance across the parquet floor that the lovely Miss Tremont is awoken in the room beneath. Ceiling tiles are tumbling down and management is of no help, so she goes upstairs to fix the disturbance herself. Jerry is immediately smitten, but Dale Tremont is having none of it.
Tyler: Having lived in apartments for the last decade or so, I couldn’t help but think of what Travers' downstairs neighbors thought of his dancing. Sure enough, it’s an actual plot point! While less integral to the plot, I was similarly glad when they later showed the hotel housekeepers cleaning up all of Dale’s flowers.
Ellen: Dale both wakes up and goes back to bed with beautifully styled hair and a full face of make-up. This author could never, unless very, very drunk.
The next morning, Jerry clears out the hotel flower shop for Miss Tremont, and the staff gossips about how one Mr. Beddini will NOT be pleased. Dale departs in a hansom cab for her riding lesson, and notes how the cabbie is tapping along with the clip-clop of the horse. It’s Jerry, of course! The two end up taking shelter from a storm in a gazebo, and they dance together for the first time. It’s very fun! Back at the hotel, however, Mr. Alberto Beddini is, as foretold by the florists, not happy. Dale has been modeling and promoting his gowns at society events, and in return he pays for everything. He’s upset that she's considering canceling her trip to visit Madge in Italy to pursue some rando, and she’s suddenly horrified when she “realizes” this man is Horace, Madge’s husband! Dale (thinking he’s a married man) slaps Jerry in the lobby, and all involved retreat to their respective hotel rooms to figure out what to do.
Ellen: Having watched this in full, I’m now convinced “A Lovely Night” from La La Land was heavily inspired by this number! A lot of it is also done in one shot, no doubt from Astaire’s influence (if Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat can be believed, that is).
Tyler: I absolutely agree with the La La Land comparison. Also, this is unrelated, but I had no idea Dale was ever acceptable as a woman’s name. When I hear Dale I think of men (a racecar driver and a Rescue Ranger, specifically).
The show must go on, however, and we divert to a performance of Jerry’s debut London show called, you guessed it: Top Hat! A sea of gentlemen in top hats, white ties, and tails tap their way across the stage with Jerry in the lead. He learns during intermission that the woman Madge wanted to introduce him to in Italy was Dale herself, so he directs Horace to get a plane for the weekend and performs the second half of the show with extra gusto. Cut to: “Italy,” or rather, what looks like a cross between The Venetian and “It’s a Small World” passing for Italy. Dale and Madge drink Horse’s Necks and discuss “Horace’s” flirtation with Dale. Madge is largely unconcerned… for now. Jerry and Horace arrive by… seaplane… I guess??6 The producer has just finished a story about how he feels terrible about a near-fling he had in Paris. Mistaken identities and misunderstandings run rampant as all four people involved are never in the same place, and hilarity ensues.
As the Americans in Italy try to sort through this tangled mess without actually talking to each other, Jerry and Dale end up dancing “Cheek to Cheek.” Feathers fly and hearts soar, but afterward the couple bickers and talks directly past each other, which Jerry tries to remedy by proposing. Not the move! Dale tells Madge that her “husband” proposed, causing the latter to punch an unsuspecting Horace in the face! With nothing resolved and quite a shiner, Horace gets Bates to order a steak to soothe his eye, and in a micro-miscommunication within the larger story, the butler orders a gorgeous steak dinner instead7. Meanwhile, Dale one-ups all previous bad ideas and marries Beddini right there at the hotel!
Ellen: I wrote in my notes that Ginger’s dress “looks like she hunted an albino Grimace for its pelt,” but boy it moves beautifully!
Tyler: I went with “pale Gritty” but I do agree. Also, add another tally to the wildly quick marriage proposals of ILTBTA, though at least these two were going to be set up anyway?
Upon hearing this, Madge, Jerry, and Horace are confused enough to finally start communicating properly, and realize Dale thought Jerry was Horace all along. Jerry smokes Beddini out of the bridal suite the only way he knows how: by tap dancing up a storm in the room above. Beddini rushes upstairs with a sword, causing Dale to send Madge up there as well, and it’s Horace! Jerry snuck down to the bridal suite via balcony, and convinces Dale of who he really is on a gondola ride. They make use of the wedding dinner celebration intended for Dale and Beddini, and the party really gets going when Bates reveals he was pretending to be a priest to keep an eye on Dale, so she’s not really married! She sings “The Piccolino,” and everyone can finally dance in peace and enjoy themselves in EPCOT’s Italy Pavilion.
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick “advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … The Thackeray Club!
Are you a man in search of a peaceful social club where there’s no actual socializing done? Overwhelmed by a crush of people constantly speaking to you? Wishing to be free of the needs and expectations and machinations of women? Then the Thackeray Club is the place for you!
Named after a boy from the 17th century who mysteriously disappeared in Salem, Massachusetts, The Thackeray Club can be your escape from the noisy hustle and bustle of your modern 1930s lifestyle. Very quietly tell the men at the front desk that ILTBTA sent you and get 14% off your first month’s membership fee.
Once you go Thackeray, you never go back-eray!
Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
Top Hat’s Wikipedia page has some interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
Fred Astaire is credited with innovating early film musicals. For one, he insisted on filming a dance routine in as few shots as possible and keeping the dancers in full view at all times, allowing the viewer to follow the choreography in its entirety. He was also adamant that song and dance routines make sense within the plot of the film and to move it along, as opposed to using them for pure spectacle purposes.
Ellen: This all seems very common sense to the point where I wonder what the pushback was like. “Whoa whoa whoa, whatcha smoking there, Fred? You want people to be able to see the dancers AND incorporate it into the plot??”
Tyler: I think the idea was that some of those early musicals just had singing and dancing for the heck of it (I feel like many today still do), so he was like “Guys we gotta keep this tighter.”
Astaire’s will apparently includes a clause asking that his life not be portrayed on film. Naturally, Hollywood was like “lol good one” and cast Tom Holland in an upcoming biopic. Amazon Studios is producing a separate biopic focusing on Astaire and Rogers, and starring zero Spider-Men.
Ginger Rogers was actually born Virginia McMath. She got the nickname Ginger after a younger cousin struggled to pronounce her actual name, and the name Rogers came from a stepfather whom her mother married when Ginger was nine.
Aside from her acting and dancing skills, Rogers was also a talented tennis player. She even entered the 1950 U.S. Open, but she and her partner Frank Shields lost in the first round of the mixed doubles competition.
This truly bananas looking building in Prague, designed by Vlado Milunić and Frank Gehry, is nicknamed “The Dancing House” and was inspired by Astaire and Rogers. A tower made of rock represents Astaire, while a tower made of glass represents Rogers.
Composer Irving Berlin couldn’t read or write music, and could only pick out tunes on a transposing piano.
Lucille Ball appears briefly in Top Hat as the flower shop clerk. She appeared in two other Astaire & Rogers musicals: Roberta and Follow the Fleet. Ball was actually a distant maternal cousin of Rogers’, with whom she co-starred (along with Katharine Hepburn) in Stage Door.
It’s too long to summarize here, but we suggest you read about “the feathers incident.”
Oscar NomNomNomz
Since we all know a movie is nothing without the food and drink it incorporates.
It’s now time to award the Oscar for Best Snacktor in a Supporting Role8. And the nomnomnominees are:
Horse's Neck cocktail
Big juicy steak with mashed potatoes, carrots, and spinach
Scaloppino (as referenced in “The Piccolino” song; also known as scaloppine)
And the Oscar goes to … the Horse’s Neck! Unfortunately, Ellen drank it because, quote, “a bitch loves a cocktail,” so Tyler will accept this award on its behalf.
Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to shelter the Academy from the rain in a gazebo and then dance up a REAL storm! As mistaken identity plots go, I deem this one “believable enough.” Would this ever happen in reality? Almost certainly not, but we don’t get a lot of spontaneous, spectacular tap dancing in reality either, so it comes with the territory! The costuming and dancing were a delight. The pitter-patter dialogue feels very of a time, and I feel I made my thoughts on the believability of the sets known in Plots & Feelings, but I still enjoyed both! Eat some popcorn, sip a cocktail, and have a fun time with this one.
Tyler: I’d like to buy the Academy some new dancing shoes and polish them myself. While a lot of the drama could’ve been solved pretty quickly with some name tags or a simple “What’s your name?” question, the mistaken identity hijinks are well-written and comedic enough that you’re able to sit back and just enjoy them for what they are. The comparatively lower stakes than your typical Best Picture nominees (at least of late) was also a welcome respite. Package that with some truly impressive and iconic dancing, plus a trim 100-minute runtime, and you’ve got yourself a delightful and enjoyable film.
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
If you have plots and feelings of your own (on the movie or ILTBTA in general), feel free to comment on the post or simply reply to the email. If you liked reading this: tell your friends! If you hated reading this: tell your friends how much you hated it by forwarding it to them!
If you’re a weirdo like Tyler and use Twitter, feel free to follow us there @BlankTheAcademy for ILTBTA updates, rejected jokes, and other random movie-related musings. Once we reach a million followers, we’ll offer to purchase the @ILTBTA handle from the butthead who snagged it before us.
If you’d like to start a wild Best Picture journey of your own, feel free to download a copy of The Spreadsheet. Bonus: checking off the boxes is oddly satisfying.
For pizza’s sake, GET YOUR COVID VACCINE AND BOOSTER! Wear a mask. Get tested. Don’t be an idiot.
Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment.
Our next ILTBTA post will be on the 1972 survival thriller Deliverance, starring Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty, and Ronny Cox. Deliverance is available to stream for free on HBO Max (until the end of the month, at least, so hurry up!) and can be rented on Google Play, Amazon Prime, Apple TV, or whatever new streaming service from a corporate behemoth that’ll pop up in the next couple days.
Until then, Top THAT!
Some behind-the-scenes deets for you devoted footnote fans: when deciding our next ILTBTA post, we do a tiny bit of initial research to make sure the movie is 1. at least a little interesting and/or 2. available to rent/stream somewhere. The second point we learned the hard way after discovering that one-time ILTBTA subject Prizzi’s Honor is in the year 2022 somehow not available to stream or rent anywhere.
We just need everyone to know that the original Wikipedia summary is only four bullets, the last of which is only two sentences. Low stakes over here!
Sounds like my ex-wives!
Tyler: The “royal-we”ing gave me Gollum vibes, which I did not expect or appreciate.
Tyler: Hmm interesting good to know (takes note)
Tyler: Surely there were several flights on regular planes before they took the seaplane. Right? Right??
Ellen: Either way, we are given the impression the plane pulls up to the… dock of the hotel??
Ellen: I recognize this wasn’t strictly necessary to mention, but it made me hungry!
Results tabulated and certified by the accountants at Ernst & Yum™.