You: “Wait, didn’t you guys cover Romeo and Juliet in your last post?”
ILTBTA: “Yea but that was the 1936 version, this is the 1968 version. Romeo and July-et babyyyyy.”
You, pretending to care about the distinction whilst rolling your eyes at the pun: “Oh … cool … so is it basically the same movie?”
ILTBTA, desperate to justify our $3.99 + tax purchase: “No! There are so many differences that are definitely noticeable. Like, this one has actual teens in the lead roles, not like the last one which had grown-ass adults playing children.”
You: “Oh neat. So is it any good?”
ILTBTA: “ … good is a spectrum …”
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Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched it?
Ellen: This version is new to me, but I became aware of it due to a somewhat recent controversy. Let’s see it!
Tyler: I’ve technically seen this movie (in ninth grade English) but it left such little impression that I forgot to check it off in The Spreadsheet1. I recall there being some brief nudity, which became relevant again somewhat recently because the stars sued the director? Or something like that? Honestly, I’ll get to it in Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?, let’s get on with this.
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): When two young members of feuding families meet, forbidden love ensues.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia and formatted to fit your screen):
Fair Verona, two households, blood feud, you get it, right? The opening fight here is distinguished by two things: blood is drawn, and the tights look absolutely crazy. Both sides boast wild outfits, but the Ronald McDonald-coded Capulet getups are particularly offensive. All is forgotten as Tybalt saunters onto the screen, and this man oozes charisma. The Prince is once again furious about the brawl, but all local soft boy Romeo Montague can think about is love. Curiously, the object of his affections is not mentioned. He and the boys decide to crash the Capulet masquerade ball tonight.
Ellen: Tyler and I were apart when we watched this version, and I was truly just cackling to myself when I realized Tybalt was Michael York of Gilmore Girls, Austin Powers, and I’m sure many other things fame. His voice sounds exactly the same.
Tyler: As soon as Tybalt opened his mouth I was like “Oh my gosh, it’s Basil Exposition!”2
Tyler: I also couldn’t help but notice that not only does the Prince’s police force take much longer to arrive than the last movie, but he gives them the rare “four strikes and you're out" edict. How generous!
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Across town, we’re reminded in no uncertain terms that Juliet Capulet is thirteen years old3. Lady Capulet and Juliet’s nurse quite like the idea of marrying her off to a man named Paris. Juliet herself isn’t totally sold, so she just kind of smiles and nods her way through the conversation. At the party, Mercutio is once again on one about Queen Mab, though this time with a horrifying skull mask. We are “treated” to many, many phases of the party, but finally Romeo and Juliet meet! Romeo is already smitten, having said what I’ll translate as “C.R.E.A.M. (Cupid Rules Everything Around Me).” They dance, they flirt, and eventually Juliet is torn away from her High School Musical-era Zac Efron.
Tyler: I feel like I attended this party … and not in a good way. There were dances, side conversations, stream-of-consciousness musings from pretty much every major and minor characters, more dances, some random dude breaks out into song … where was the editor??
Ellen: As my notes put it, “they really want us to experience every phase of this party, huh?”
Tyler: My notes say “Someone at this party has a Lord Farquad haircut” and “This man is singing?! Movie, ain't nobody got time for dat.”
Ellen: Also, get you a man who looks like Troy Bolton and sounds like Frodo Baggins! Or maybe don’t, considering how it turns out…
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As compared to the last iteration, Juliet does a good job of convincing me that she’s really pondering aloud on her balcony and not just dutifully waiting for her scene partner to arrive4. Arrive he does, and the two teens are full of professions of love and passionate kisses. They make plans to ask Friar Laurence to marry them tomorrow, and Juliet laments that it may as well be 20 years until then5!
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The next morning, Juliet’s nurse heads out to the Montague compound where she’s once again treated poorly by these hooligans. A fun twist on this version is she actually laughs at some of the bawdy jokes but seems to catch herself, remembering that she’s a representative for a capital L Lady. Friar Laurence, having heard Romeo pine for Rosaline just the other day, is somewhat hesitant, but he ultimately bows to the wishes of these young fools. Romeo and Juliet are married in a church that’s a major upgrade from the humble halls of the last film.
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Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick “advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … a mid-wedding intermission!
We here at ILTBTA invite you to consider a radical new innovation in matrimony: the mid-wedding intermission. Whether you’re looking for a little break to sit down and escape the heat of a summer wedding or simply hoping to pad out that runtime, an intermission in the middle of nuptials could be your perfect solution!
Your officiant has been through enough: try an intermission today!
Out in the afternoon sun, Capulets and Montagues are at it again. Tybalt has come in hot6, hoping to fight Romeo for crashing last night’s festivities. Romeo could not be less game to battle his new cousin-in-law, so Mercutio does it instead! The only thing the two combatants have in common is they think Romeo (whom Tybalt calls “boy [derogatory]”) is a lil coward for not dueling. The fight is incredibly lighthearted on the surface, but hard edges start to show through, and eventually Tybalt mortally wounds Mercutio. It’s partially Romeo’s fault, and his friend uses his dying breath to tell him so. In a rage, Romeo runs after the Capulets. This fight is much more desperate from the start, and Romeo does a little mortal wounding of his own! Tybalt and Mercutio’s bodies are dragged before the Prince, and Romeo is banished.
Ellen: The Mercutio/Tybalt matchup is extra jarring because it’s as though the extras were instructed not to stop laughing no matter what, so when the fight turns serious, they’re all still guffawing like a bunch of frat boys. Also, RIP to the least-charming version of Mercutio I’ve ever seen.
Tyler: Yeah I found their fight to be oddly informal (until it wasn’t), while Romeo and Tybalt’s was too drawn out. Unless you’re going to give us something special, there’s not much value in dragging out something we all know is going to happen.
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Juliet is devastated by Romeo’s banishment, but mostly manages to disguise it as Tybalt-related grief. Her husband appears, and they spend the night together in brief nudity. After he leaves for Mantua, Lady Capulet lets her daughter know the happy news that will push her dead cousin right out of her head: she’ll be marrying Paris! Juliet is distressed to say the least, but her father is even more so! He yells up a storm, and Juliet is horrified that her nurse agrees. She runs to Friar Laurence for help, and her new fiancé is right outside! Paris fails utterly at reading the room, assuming Juliet is just in shock that she gets to marry someone so wonderful. The Friar gives Juliet her potion, and we skip over her crisis-of-faith monologue and cut to the feeling… of appearing to be dead!
Tyler: It's interesting comparing the movies and what they chose to keep: Juliet's “death" and funeral happen shortly after each other here, whereas there was a big to-do (and wedding prep!) at this point in the last one.
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Juliet’s funeral is beautiful, complete with an eerie chorus of mourners. The only fly in the ointment (besides the apparent death of a teen) is that Romeo’s squire sees the whole thing, and he rushes to Mantua to tell him. He rushes so fast he beats the apprentice Friar Laurence sent to inform Romeo of the plan. The young Montague is devastated, and he breaks into the tomb to see for himself. Juliet is laid out on her marble slab, and Romeo downs some poison about it. When she awakes, the Friar is there as promised, but nothing else is right. He hears people coming and flees, and Juliet is having none of it. She stabs herself.
Tyler: I wonder if anyone in the crowd at the end was thinking “Okay but are we sure she's dead this time? We've been fooled before."
Ellen: Idk, but shout out to Paris for surviving this version!
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At a joint funeral for their young idiots, the two families reconcile.
Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
Romeo and Juliet’s Wikipedia page has some interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
This adaptation of Romeo and Juliet was directed by Franco Zeffirelli, an Italian director of film and stage. Zeffirelli also served in the Italian Senate from 1994-2001 representing a region of Sicily as a member of the center-right Forza Italia party. Despite being gay himself (though he preferred the more “elegant” term homosexual), Zeffirelli was heavily criticized in the gay community for upholding the Catholic Church’s position on homosexuality. He was also accused of antisemitism after calling Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ a product of “"that Jewish cultural scum of Los Angeles which is always spoiling for a chance to attack the Christian world.” In a sentence that shouldn’t surprise you by this point, he was also accused of sexual assault. Cool guy.
The stars of the film, Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey, sued Paramount Pictures in December 2022 for $500 million claiming sexual abuse and fraud on the part of Zeffirelli (who had died three years earlier). The lawsuit claimed that the sequence in the third act in which both Whiting and Hussey briefly appear nude was “secretly filmed” by the director and was supposed to include skin-colored underwear since the two of them were under 18. The Los Angeles Superior Court dismissed the case six months later.
Ellen: Look, they were teens, this is not cool, but I did expect it the scene to be worse.
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Whiting and Hussey were cast at the ages of 16 and 15, respectively, from hundreds of fellow auditioners. Before deciding to cast relative unknowns, Zeffirelli apparently also considered Paul McCartney and Phil Collins for the role of Romeo.
Ellen: The 2024 mind cannot comprehend… also, did they want Romeo to sing?? Sure feels like it.
The pair reunited in 2015 in the film Social Suicide, starring Hussey’s daughter India Eisley as the couple’s daughter.
Famed British actor Laurence Olivier provides the voice for the film’s prologue and epilogue, as well as the dubbed voice of Lord Montague. His involvement was largely happenstance as he happened to be visiting the set in Rome while he was filming The Shoes of the Fisherman.
Because the movie was shot without sound, all dialogue and Foley effects had to be dubbed in separately during the editing process.
Tyler: If you’re curious about Foley effects, check out this episode of The Economics of Everyday Things!
Oscar NomNomNomz
Since we all know a movie is nothing without the food and drink it incorporates.
It’s now time to award the Oscar for Best Snacktor in a Supporting Role.7 And the nomnomnominees are:
Fresh fruits and vegetables from the market (those that weren’t destroyed in the opening Montague-Capulet brawl)
A goblet of red wine at the Capulet party
… Poison?
And the Oscar goes to … the goblet of red wine from the Capulet party! Unfortunately, we drank the wine to celebrate the return of The Bachelorette, so Basil will accept this award on its behalf.
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Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to crash The Academy’s party, but in a chill way. I have more mixed feelings than Tyler on this one. It’s long and flowery, but those are more critiques of the source material than the film. There were some performance discrepancies, with some folks acting, some Acting, and some ACTING! I also just thought Romeo was completely unserious, especially in comparison to Olivia Hussey’s Juliet, who was electric. Her expression game was top notch, and after the vacant roundness of our last Juliet, this version had a welcome ferocity. Though it became too much in the case of the Capulet party, this movie also did a great job of making Verona feel like an actual place where people actually live. This hit the most successfully for me at Juliet’s funeral. Oh, I also enjoyed Michael York, as previously mentioned. And look, is some of this a result of rose-colored-glasses because I made a wonderful pizza and drank a nice local beer while I watched? Verily, who can say!
Tyler: I’d like to remind The Academy that because a movie is a Shakespeare adaptation doesn’t mean it’s automatically worthy of being Best Picture. Is this better than the last Romeo and Juliet we watched? Yes. Should we be grading Best Picture nominees on a curve? No. This one dragged on just as much as the last one, enough that they felt the need to put an intermission in the middle of it to break up the 2 hour and 18 minute runtime. Doing back-to-back Romeo and Juliet posts didn’t help, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to fast-forwarding through an ILTBTA movie. And while I applaud the (relative) boldness of casting age-appropriate actors for the lead roles, I didn’t care for seemingly every other capital-c Choice the movie/director made.
Whenever we cover a movie I didn’t particularly like, I like to see what other notable movies came out that year that didn’t get a Best Picture nom (that is, whose Best Picture spot did this steal?). Here’s a list of movies that also came out in 1968 that I’m guessing The Academy would’ve rather nominated in hindsight: 2001: A Space Odyssey, Once Upon a Time in the West, Rosemary’s Baby, The Producers, The Odd Couple, Planet of the Apes, Night of the Living Dead … you get the picture (pun intended). These movies all for the most part were not only very good but also had staying power and are still somehow relevant in the cinematic zeitgeist. Does being “Not The Worst Romeo and Juliet Movie Adaptation” make this worthy enough to kick any of those off the Best Picture list? I think not.
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
If you have plots and feelings of your own (on the movie or ILTBTA in general), feel free to comment on the post or simply reply to the email. If you liked reading this: tell your friends! If you hated reading this: tell your friends how much you hated it by forwarding it to them!
If you’re a weirdo like Tyler and use the social media site formerly known as Twitter, feel free to follow us there @BlankTheAcademy for ILTBTA updates, rejected jokes, and other random movie-related musings. Once we reach a million followers, we’ll offer to purchase the @ILTBTA handle from the butthead who snagged it before us.
ILTBTA is also on Letterboxd, the social networking site for movie fans. Follow us there to read our Spreadsheet comments of our ILTBTA movies, plus our ratings of other movies we watch!
If you’d like to start a wild Best Picture journey of your own, feel free to download a copy of The Spreadsheet. Bonus: checking off the boxes is oddly satisfying.
Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment.
Since The Academy clearly couldn’t handle Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet adaptation, we’ll be rounding out Romeo and July-et with the 1998 rom-com-dram Shakespeare in Love. Starring Joseph Fiennes, Gwenyth Paltrow, and a whole host of British actors and actresses you'll be sure to recognize along the way, Shakespeare in Love follows the titular playwright as he embarks on his own love affair whilst writing Romeo and Juliet. The film was awarded Best Picture at the 71st Academy Awards.
Until then, parting is such sweet sorrow!
Those who know me well know I have a terrible memory. Unlike Ellen, who if she watched something in ninth grade would remember not only what shirt she was wearing but also the shirt she was wearing when she bought the first shirt.
Yes, that is one of Basil’s many, many nicknames.
Yikes.
Sounds like my ex-wife!
My sweet summer teen: how would you know?
👀
Results tabulated and certified by the accountants at Ernst & Yum™.