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Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run in a really really deep sleep
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess We’re not technically royalty but we’ll still be rich
It’s a love story, baby just say “Yes.” don’t drink poison!
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Previews
What, if anything, did we know about this coming attraction before we watched it?
Ellen: “Two houses, both alike in dignity…”
Tyler: My general familiarity with this saga goes This Movie < The Play < The Play’s Cliff Notes page.
Plots & Feelings
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
Short Version (courtesy of IMDb): Young love is poisoned1 by a generations-long feud between two noble families.
Long Version (modified from Wikipedia and formatted to fit your screen):
Welcome, viewers, to fair Verona, where the families feud, the prince is pissed, and Shakespeare’s head is in the corner of the credits, so you know it’s legit. You know the drill: you’ve got your Capulets, you’ve got your Montagues, and you’ve got your fighting in the streets for every perceived thumb bite. On Team Capulet, young Paris is interested in marrying Juliet, which her parents and nursemaid (who btw cannot shut up) are all for. On Team Montague, Romeo is absolutely smitten by someone named Rosaline, enduring good-natured ribbing from his pals Benvolio and Mercutio (who, coincidentally, also cannot shut up2). As it happens, the Capulets are having a ball tonight, and Rosaline is on the guest list! Romeo and the boys go in disguise, since it’s on sight between the beefing families.
Ellen: We learn very quickly this will not be an interpretation of the Shakespeare work, but dialogue direct from the play, including parts of the introduction. They do skip the “doth with their death bury their parents’ strife” line, because spoilies!!
Tyler: (Me not remembering plot points and well-known lines) Yeah totally, what a spoiler that line would have been. I totally noticed that.
At the ball, Mercutio is really on one, and so is local Capulet hothead Tybalt, who is just itching to duel somebody, but Lord Capulet is like “could you please chill for once in your life.” Romeo is single-minded in trying to locate Rosaline until he sees a beautiful woman and her posse doing the dance routine they made up at a sleepover (this author assumes). He goes full on “who is she??” and unfortunately the answer is: the daughter of Lord Capulet. Juliet has moved on to dancing with Paris, but she can’t quite stop making eyes at Romeo. When they finally speak, they kiss!3 As all the strangers leave, as her nurse puts it, Juliet learns her masked man is the son of Montague!
Ellen: I know it was a different time without photos and whatever, but it’s crazy to me that the (seemingly only?) children of two families in a blood feud don’t know who the other is.
Tyler: RTing because I agree. I’m guessing the idea in the play is that the families hate each other so much that they never see each other (opposite sides of the tracks and all), but the deadass first scene in the movie is them all awkwardly running into each other on the way to church so that logic kinda goes out the window.
Juliet goes out to her balcony to ponder aloud the events of the evening when a wild Romeo appears! Having only seen him masked, she’s like “eeek, ew who the heck are you?” Once they get cinema’s shortest case of mistaken identity over with, these kids are all in on professions of love and plans to defy their families. Romeo (brace yourself) wants to come up to her room (I’m so sorry), but Juliet says “no vow, no plough” (may God have mercy on my soul), so they make plans to have a friendly friar marry them in secret tomorrow.
Tyler: How could I forget: these two are the OG “two people falling in love and talking and marriage unreasonably fast" couple! The basis upon which I’ve complained in so many ILTBTA posts!
Tyler: There are actually some really pretty shots of Romeo sneaking through the garden to talk to Juliet. I think I just like this better when they're not talking?
At the Montague compound the next day, there are dancing skeleton acrobats and Mercutio is flirting and spreading the love with wine. Juliet’s nurse appears and he is extremely uncool, but Romeo manages to get the time and place for his nuptials. Oh, and Tybalt has also sent a formal challenge to Romeo, but we won’t worry about that right now. When the nurse returns to Juliet, she cannot help but make a meal out of how the conversation went, but the girl eventually manages to pull the info out of her. Friar Laurence doesn’t feel great about the whole scenario, but moves forward anyway. Romeo and Juliet are married in a private ceremony with no family and no friends, just like they always dreamed.
Later, Tybalt gets bored of waiting for a response and just shows up to fight! Benvolio is stressed but Mercutio is chill, and Romeo just tries to break the whole thing up, considering Tybalt is now his cousin-in-law. This is too much for Mercutio, and he and Tybalt get into it! The sword and dagger fight ranges across the courtyard, and ultimately Romeo’s interference allows Tybalt to land a killing blow. The Capulets bounce, and Romeo pursues. He ends up fighting and killing Tybalt in a public square! The prince’s guards are like “did you not hear us in Act I??”, and Romeo is banished.
Tyler: You can tell all these characters are white based on the speed with which the police arrive on the scene.
Ellen: We get one of my favorite lines here: “Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man.” Punning in the face of death, Mercutio? We salute you.
Meanwhile, newly-married Juliet is having a great, if tedious day. Her bubble is burst by her nurse telling her the news of all the death and exile, and Romeo himself soon arrives. They are reunited in a swell of stereotypical romantic music.4 The distraught couple spends their first night together on bizarre, pearl-lined pillows. In the morning, despite wanting to just stay in bed5, Juliet kicks Romeo out for his own safety. He just meanders out through the courtyard in front of God and everyone, but thankfully makes it out to Mantua. Juliet’s troubles keep piling up, because her parents bust in and announce that she must marry Paris or be disowned!
Ellen: Tyler referred to this as the “Cressida Cowper” treatment.
Tyler: What would The Ton think of Romeo and Juliet?!
Friar Laurence is surprised when Paris arrives to ask for a hasty wedding to Juliet, having just performed the same thing for her the previous day. He’s even more surprised when Juliet arrives and is like “get me out of this.” The Friar gives her a tincture that will make her appear dead to avoid her fate and dispatches a messenger to inform Romeo of the plan. The messenger gets caught in a pestilence quarantine! Later, after catastrophizing about the outcomes6 of taking the potion, Juliet downs it.
In the morning, the Capulet house is in the full swing of wedding preparations. Juliet’s poor nurse has to find her seemingly lifeless. The decor changes from white to black as Juliet’s funeral procession winds through the streets. Romeo receives news of her death and receives it calmly, which is to say he immediately buys poison from a struggling apothecary. He returns to Verona and breaks into Juliet’s tomb. Paris doesn’t love that, but eh, Romeo just kills him. “Thus with a kiss [he] die[s].” And a few minutes later, Juliet sits up, looking like she just had the best sleep of her life. She sees Paris’ body and goes “oh no,” and then Romeo’s and goes “oh NOOO!!” Taking the dagger she stole from him after their night together, she stabs herself. But hey: at least mutual tragedy stops the fight between their families!
Intermission
Even though ILTBTA is free, please indulge us further and enjoy this quick “advertisement.”
This installment of ILTBTA is brought to you by … Friar Laurence’s PSA for The Youths.
Hi Kids, I’m Friar Laurence. I was once a young idiot, just like you, and I have a few pieces of wisdom to share:
Stop getting married after 12 hours
Stop trying to kill each other
Stop trying to kill yourselves
Stop talking for, like, two seconds
And above all, stop dragging me into it!
I’m too old for this shit. Grazie.
Wiki-Wiki-Whaaat?
Love a good Wikipedia rabbit hole in search of some fun facts? Us too.
Romeo and Juliet’s Wikipedia page has some interesting facts and anecdotes that we recommend you read through, but here are a few of our favorites:
Since we all know the source material for this movie, let’s jump straight to the movie-related fun facts. This adaptation of Romeo and Juliet was directed by George Cukor, who amongst many other films directed Gaslight, the subject of our ninth ILTBTA post.
Long a favorite of powerful film producer and studio executive David O. Selznick, Cukor was hired by Selznick to direct Gone With The Wind before the book was even published. He then spent the next two years in pre-production on the sprawling epic, working on everything from casting the lead roles to coaching the actors and actresses.
Between his duties on Gone With The Wind, Cukor also assisted on other movies for the studio, including The Wizard of Oz, which had just fired its original director. Though he was only on set for one week and never actually filmed anything, Cukor made several critical changes to the film: he nixed Judy Garland’s original blonde wig, adjusted the makeup for several main characters, and suggested the studio cast Jack Haley for the role of the Tin Man (which they eventually did).
However, Cukor was later fired as director of Gone With The Wind after Selznick became unhappy with Cukor’s slow pace and quality of work. (Despite this, Cukor continued working with stars Vivien Leigh and Olivia de Havilland off set.) Rumors swirled around Hollywood as to the true reason for Cukor’s firing. One theory was that Selznick’s friendship with the director had waned after the latter refused certain directing assignments, including 1937’s A Star Is Born. (Ironically enough, Cukor would later direct the 1954 version with Judy Garland.) It was also theorized that GWTW star Clark Gable was uncomfortable working with Cukor, who was widely known to be gay, with Gable allegedly screaming after a particularly difficult scene: “I can’t go on with this picture. I won’t be directed by a fairy, I have to work with a real man.”
Cukor and screenwriter Talbot Jennings cut down much of the original play for the film’s script, ultimately using only about 45% of it.
Producer Irving Thalberg cast his wife Norma Shearer in the lead role of Juliet. After also casting mostly film actors rather than stage actors, Thalberg brought in “East Coast drama coaches,” with the unfortunate consequence of otherwise natural-acting actors giving “stilted” performances.
Tyler: This explains a lot.
Thalberg died on the night of the Los Angeles premiere of the film at the age of 37. Thalberg was known in Hollywood as “The Boy Wonder” and, amongst many other films, also produced Mutiny on the Bounty.
MGM, the studio that produced the film, was initially hesitant to make a film adaptation out of Shakespeare, but was encouraged by the success of a 1934 Broadway revival of Romeo and Juliet. Actor Basil Rathbone played Romeo on stage and Tybalt in the film adaptation. Tybalt was played on stage by a 19-year-old Orson Welles.
Tyler: Did I include this bullet because someone’s name is Basil? Why yes, yes I did. Speaking of whom …
Basil’s Corner
ILTBTA’s Social Media Intern picks out her favorite fauna
In lieu of Oscar NomNomNomz (since these people pretty much just drink wine and poison in this movie), we decided to give Basil an opportunity to shout out her fellow animals, of which there are a few notable background representatives. Over to you Basil …
Greetings humans! My people tell me there were randomly lots of animals in this movie, which is news to me because I ran to the other room when I realized they were starting another (!) movie. I must get at least fourteen hours of beauty rest a day (being this cute is hard work!), so this seemed like a perfect opportunity to get a couple hours in. I even saw Father dozing off a little bit too …
Anyway, after some deep thought and a close rewatch of the source material, here are my Favorite Fauna:
Romeo’s sheepdog → +1 for canine representation! Woof woof woof woof bork bork woof!
Juliet’s deer → I was unaware these creatures could be domesticated7 until seeing this movie. I mean, it has a matching collar and everything!
Verona PD horses → The Dalmatian in me can’t help but appreciate these fellow first responders
A peacock roaming the Capulet’s party → Why was there a peacock just roaming the compound? Apparently the real question is: Why not?
And with that, I must return to chewing my bone and casually asking for more kibble. It is far more entertaining than this “cinema” you speak of. Until next time comrades.
Fill In The Blank
How did we really feel about The Academy nominating this?
Ellen: I’d like to give The Academy a lil tincture to just go to sleep for a while. Look, there’s nothing particularly special about this adaptation. It’s a bog standard high school production of Romeo and Juliet that you happened to film, complete with line reads with all the enthusiasm of sophomore boys. The parts that I like stem purely from the fact that Shakespeare did a good (if wordy) job. I do bite my thumb, sir.
Tyler: I’d like to kindly request a $4.29 refund from The Academy. I’ve never been a fan of film adaptations of Shakespeare (at least the ones that stick to the original text) because the writing itself is just a bit much for me. If Shakespeare had an editor they would have quit because my guy does not know how to end a sentence. It’s one thing to get around that by skimming the text, but to watch it be performed becomes exhausting. Couple that with some actors who seem to be woodenly reciting lines as opposed to acting (all of whom seem to have a different accent), and you’ve got yourself a movie that acted more as a weight on my eyelids than a piece of entertainment.
Let The Credits Roll
Thanks for reading! Some quick housekeeping as you exit the theatre:
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Post-Credits Scene
Get a sneak peek at the next ILTBTA installment.
Romeo and July-et continues in two weeks with the 1968 adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. Director Franco Zeffirelli cast two young, relative unknowns in the lead roles, a decision that paid off quite well given that this adaptation was well-received both financially and critically. But will it be well-received by ILTBTA?
Romeo and Juliet is available to rent from the same places you surely rent all the other movies we write about, right?
Until then, wherefore art thou?
Lol good one, IMDb
Tyler: Literally everyone in this movie cannot shut up.
Tyler: Romeo = party crasher panty snatcher
It was at this point Tyler said “If I start snoring, don’t wake me.”
Relatable content.
Again, relatable.
Basil: Sounds like my ex-wife? Am I doing this right?
Tyler & Ellen: We’re so proud!